As I spent yesterday trying to come up with some ideas for posts (maybe a new Burning Questions), I found myself flipping channels. Lost in the miasma of daytime TV, prospects were looking bleak. I thought I might have to settle for an uninspiring news story or movie trailer analysis. But then I saw something that shook me to my core. Something so shocking, so unexpected, I had to stop and take note. Harry Connick, Jr. has his own talk show. No, really, he does. After picking my jaw up off the floor, I decided I had to watch this spectacle. Results were absolutely wild.
I couldn’t believe what I was watching. How in the world did Harry Connick, Jr. get his own mid-day talk show? How many stars had to align for this to happen? Is he the least likely talk show host in history? I mean they tried to give Magic Johnson his own talk show, but at least he’s infinitely more famous than Harry Connick, Jr. He’s the definition of a D-list celebrity. This is like if someone gave the lead singer of Deep Blue Something his own show. I really wish I was in the room for this meeting. “Alright, so we all know Harry Connick, Jr. for that good Christmas album from the 90s and his memorable roles in Dolphin Tale and Dolphin Tale 2. Well, what if he had a midday talk show?” What skills does he have that translate to talk show success? A slight New Orleans accent? Thinking about it, the person that greenlit this show maybe the most reckless and courageous man in the history of the entertainment industry. I mean, this show was a crazy combination of the most boring television I’ve ever watched and the most enthralling entertainment ever produced. I might have to become a regular watcher. I think my new life’s goal is to somehow be a guest on this show. Or better yet, his sidekick. He obviously had a jazz band with him but I didn’t notice a witty sidekick to help add mother-approved comedy for the 3 o’clock crowd. Hey, Harry, sign me up. I’d add some much needed spice to the bland gumbo that is Harry. (a little New Orleans humor to get on Harry’s good side. I can tell we already have great chemistry.) I can help take your show to unprecedentedly middling heights. I need my life’s work to be lost in the ether of daytime TV. Have your people call my people, Harry.