MLB Thoughts

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Been a few weeks since the last round of MLB Thoughts, so it’s time to take a look at the landscape of the league again. A lot of things have changed. A lot has stayed the same. Can anyone stop this red-hot team from Washington, D.C.? I’ve heard it’s their year.

  • The hater in me can only deny the Yankees recognition for so long. Pretty much everything has gone their way. Every hitter is red hot. Aaron Judge has established himself as the second best rookie in the AL East. Their pitching has been effective. Stalin Castro is hitting .351. Aaron Hicks has an OPS of 1.101, for crying out loud! Buuuuuttttttt, I mean…. Aaron Hicks has an OPS of 1.101. Jacob Ellsbury has played in all but 3 games. Brett Gardner has one fewer home run than he did last year already. He’s always had the talent, but Starlin hasn’t hit over .300 since 2011. Michael Pineda has a 131 ERA+. What I’m trying to say is, they’ve had a lot of good luck and are probably going to come back down to Earth. Before everyone gets all pissed off at me for daring to question the Greatest Team Ever Put Together in the History of Mankind (or at least since the last time the Yankees were good), keep in mind I said before the season that they’d make the Wild Card game. That hasn’t changed. Sure, everyone has over-performed, but it’s not pure luck, either. There’s real talent here, it’s just not really ready to be the best team in the league this year.
  • While we’re discussing things that will undoubtedly get some people upset at me, only someone who hates attention and does stuff for the Love of the Game like Derek Jeter could handpick Mother’s Day for his jersey retirement ceremony. Somehow, someway, Jeets is going to hijack one of the purest, least commercialized most well-meaning holidays out there and make it about himself. So classy.
  • As someone who never lived through some of the more horrible dictatorships in history, I can say with relative ease that Bobby Valentine is my least favorite person in history. I hate everything about him and wouldn’t mind if something really bad *wink wink* happened to him. On the other hand, David Ortiz is one of my favorite people ever. To say this excerpt made me happy is an understatement.

    bobbyvalentinemustacheglassesdisguise
    So zany!!!
  • Speaking of disgraceful Mets, I don’t even know what to think about Matt Harvey. Guy’s been getting absolutely shredded by melodramatic Mets fans and talking heads all week. And he brings it all on himself! He says time and time again how he wants to be this big playboy and the Dark Knight and a Jeter-like superstar, but it only works if you’re actually, you know, still good. He’s been absolute ass this season. He got lit up the Braves back to back starts, and I’m not sure they have any MLB level players besides Freddie Freeman (who is the best hitter in the NL, don’t @ me). I’m actually surprised he hasn’t pulled out the LeBron James-patented “I don’t know why the media hates me so much sorry I’m not perfect woe is me” defense yet. Haven’t seen someone quit so blatantly since James Harden (thanks for making me look good James! Really appreciate it!).
  • Boy, who is that at the top of the NL West? The Rockies? Still? If only someone predicted that.
  • Stop me if you’ve heard this before: there’s this team based out of Washington, D.C., lead by a transcendent star, and they can’t be stopped by anyone. They’re rolling over lesser teams left and right. Such a dynamite sports town. I can’t see anyone standing in their way. The playoffs will be a mere formality. They’ll walk to the title.
  • Andrew Benintendi is already a top-ten player in the American League. Sorry, not sorry.
  • Out of nowhere, Houston has the best record in the league. The more great starts he puts together, to more it looks like last season was the aberration for Dallas Keuchel, not two years ago. He’s been arguably the second best starting pitcher in the majors this year.
  • I’m about to make history here at the Brian’s Den and break some big-time news: Carlos Correa is good.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an extreme hat angle as the one Alex Colome has in his official photo.517008 I’m not a big “wear you’re hat the right way and don’t smile on the field unless you want a fastball in the neck” guy, but that’s a worrisome look. If the edge of the brim of your hat lines up perfectly with your nose, that means you’re spending the majority of his time making sure it looks just right. It’s all you can think about. It’s like starting an inning with the bases loaded. I’m not sure if I’d want my closer looking like Fernando Rodney out there. Luckily, the Rays stink (despite the fact that the Red Sox can’t beat them) so he won’t have too many save opportunities to put in jeopardy.
  • Are the Reds better than the Cubs?? Only time will tell…
  • Yonder Alonso is channelling my all-time favorite Oakland A and fat Matt Damon look alike Jack Cust by being the most random veteran having a breakout season. He’s already got a career high in home runs. Why did he wait until he was 30 to start training with Cousin Yuri change his swing? I don’t know. Why does anyone do anything?
  • As did anyone with a brain, I felt the whole Manny Machado-Red Sox situation was handled poorly and way overblown. It was a bad, late slide, but it didn’t require getting thrown at a million times and certainly didn’t merit throwing at his head. But doesn’t Machado always seem to be in the middle of this stuff? Every time the Orioles get into any kind of scuffle he’s the cause of it. I mean, he got a 98 mph fastball thrown at his head once and started crying more that a baby that was just born two seconds ago. Grow up, man.
  • Chris Sale would be a legend even if he wasn’t completely unhittable because of how fast he works. After years of watching Clay Buchholz stand on the mound for five minutes in between pitches, he’s like mana from Heaven. And to think, he’s having such an amazing season without his idol and clubhouse leader Drake LaRoche.

Have I forgotten anything? Probably. But that just means it wasn’t worth talking about in the first place.

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