IndyCar Drivers Scott Dixon and Dario Franchitti get robbed at a Taco Bell Drive Thru at 9:40 PM, confirm my Movement is growing

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ESPN– Indianapolis 500 pole sitter Scott Dixon and former IndyCar Series driver Dario Franchitti were robbed at gunpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru Sunday in Indianapolis, according to a police report obtained by ESPN.

Dixon, his wife, Emma Davies-Dixon, and Franchitti were robbed at around 9:40 p.m. local time at the restaurant, which is located less than a mile from Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Hours earlier, Dixon set the fastest qualifying time in 21 years there.

Two males, ages 15 and 14, were arrested, according to the police report. Both were charged with robbery, while the 15-year-old was also charged with resisting law enforcement.

The teenagers allegedly took credit cards as well as Davies-Dixon’s wallet and identification.

Dixon and Franchitti declined to comment to reporters Monday, while Chip Ganassi Racing released a statement saying the drivers are “completely fine.”

“Thank you to everyone for all of your concerns about their well-being,” the statement read. “However, we will allow the Speedway/Indianapolis police departments to handle the situation and while they conduct their investigation we will refrain from making any further comments to allow Scott to focus on the upcoming Indianapolis 500.”

Before today, I wasn’t an IndyCar guy. I wasn’t a racing guy, in general. I didn’t have a favorite driver, I didn’t have a favorite track, nothing. Well, now I’ve got two favorite drivers, because my guys Scott Dixon and Dario Franchitti understand what the #nomorenoonmeals life is all about.

Listen, if being a revolutionary was easy, everyone would do it. The public will always push back against explosive beliefs that call everything they’ve ever known into question. The brave few who hear the Call in the movement’s infancy will face untold prejudice and persecution. Getting robbed by a couple of teenagers isn’t a good thing. But practicing the #nomorenoonmeals lifestyle is.

What if Scott and Dario decided to follow society’s rules? What if they both thought, “man, even though I’m starving and would love some delicious Taco Bell right now, it’s 9:40 pm so I’m not supposed to eat anything. Oh, well, guess I’ll just stay hungry and miserable.” What kind of life is that? Constantly ignoring your insatiable hunger just because they Should Have Eaten Dinner Already. When Scott wins the Indy 500, I bet the first thing he says in the post-race interview is “my mind was free because I wasn’t worried about the fact that I might not be able to eat at either noon or 6:30.” It’s like a higher form of meditation where you eliminate one of life’s more annoying concerns completely. Those teens were just waiting to pounce on anyone who came through that Drive Thru because they had heard rumor of a new movement sweeping the country and they couldn’t let anything challenge their fragile Midwestern Values. After all, you’re Supposed to Eat Lunch at Noon and Dinner at 6:30, right? Might as well just not eat if you can’t eat at the exact time you’re supposed to. What planet am I on right now? When did it become 1984? Are delinquent teens really targeting my people now? The people with enough backbone and self-respect to eat when they’re hungry, not when they have to? Is this really the future of America? Hey, Jaxxon and Mason (I’m assuming those are their names since they’re stupid Millenials), how would you like it if someone told you you can only use your fancy smartphone with iFace and Tweetbook on it at certain times in a day, and if you disobeyed you’d become a social pariah? You probably wouldn’t like that, would you? Well, next time you feel like taking the hatred you feel towards your dad out on some forward-thinking mavericks who are unafraid to stand up for what they believe in, why don’t you just ask yourself it it’s really such a bad thing if someone eats whatever they want whenever they want. How about that, you punks? These kids are lucky #nomorenoonmeals is, by default, a peaceful and inclusive school of thought, or else one of those brats would have been eating some pavement. No one can decide what or when you eat. That’s the true pillar of my movement. Dietary freedom. So, if you’re part of my family of free-eaters, if you ever face persecution for your beliefs, just turn the other cheek and pity the offender for not being able to think for himself. Remember, it’s your body. Feed it when you want to.

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