source– When it comes to celebrating his family name, Dave Assman refuses to take no for an answer.
After Saskatchewan Government Insurance (SGI) denied his latest request for an ‘ASSMAN’ vanity license plate, the Melville man had an oversized decal designed to replicate the plate in question and then placed the decal on the tailgate of his white Dodge Ram pickup truck.
Assman — pronounced OSS-men — said he appealed SGI’s decision Tuesday and received a message around four hours later that his request had once again been rejected. Then the railroad worker took action.
In addition to his name, the decal includes the word “Saskatchewan” and the provincial motto “Land of Living Skies.” It even features what looks like the four bolt openings used for attaching to vehicles every license plate in the province.
Assman first tried to put his name on a license plate in the 1990s. That application was rejected by SGI as “profanity.” His recent application was denied on the grounds that it was “offensive, suggestive or not in good taste.”
“I think they are too worried that people are going to have hurt feelings about something that is complete nonsense,” Assman told the National Post by direct message last week. “Even if it wasn’t my last name who is it going to hurt?”
SGI, like all provincial authorities responsible for vanity plates, refuses any application that have even a whiff of sexuality, drug references, politics or religion. Its list of rejected vanity plates runs to 85 pages.
Speaking to the National Post last week, SGI spokesman Tyler McMurchy said the agency generally errs on the side of caution.
“Even if a word is someone’s name and pronounced differently than the offensive version, that’s not something that would be apparent to other motorists who will see the plate,” McMurchy said.
Here I was, minding my own business on a Wednesday, thinking that our neighbors to the north (sorry, neighbours to the north) couldn’t possibly impact my day in any way when I get slapped in the face by this shocking story. Longtime Brian’s Den reader Dave Assman, known to his friends as “Assman,” was denied his vanity plate by the oppressive Saskatchewan government because it might be too “offensive.” Excuse me? Is this 2019? Since when are names offensive? I bet his plate would have been approved if his name was Penisman.
Listen, I’m sick of Canada’s facade. Every chance they get they tell everyone “hey, here in Canada everyone’s nice and funny and awesome,” but I know better. I know the kind of Orwellian Hellscape that lies above the 49th Parallel. This is a country that bullies the little guy. That shames humble railroad workers for their surname. That censors its citizens with no remorse. What’s next? Outlawing “Gas, Grass, or Ass- Nobody Rides for Free” bumper stickers? No more Calvin peeing on stuff? I’m not even gonna ask how long Dave would have to spend in jail if he wanted his plate to say “ASSMAN69” instead of just “ASSMAN.” I’m surprised a squad of Mounted Gestapo Officers didn’t seize his truck and publicly beat him within an inch of his life for daring to defy the all-powerful SGI. Probably arrested his entire family and threatened anyone he’s ever spoken to because that’s how terror-based regimes stay in power. By convincing the weak and helpless that anything other than total cooperation is tantamount to treason.
I stand with Assman. A brave Canadian patriot who remembers when his once-noble nation was remembered for things like hockey and Celine Dion and Ryan Reynolds and ice, not fascistic tyranny that stifles joy and fosters fear and unrest. This latest incident is too far, even for Canada. Until Dave gets a legitimate ASSMAN vanity plate, I am officially #done with Canada, and I encourage you all to #done them, as well. I’m talking no more Seth Rogen movies, no more watching hockey, no more Labatt or Molson (can’t give up Celine, though. I’m only human). This is an unforgivable human rights violation that cannot be allowed. Canada must face repercussions for this disgusting display of despotism. Justice for Assman.