Isaiah Thomas is a God Amongst Men

I don’t even know what to say after last night. 53 points. 18-33 from the field, 5-12 from 3, 12-13 from the line. Most points in an NBA playoff game since his spiritual predecessor Allen Iverson in 2003. Second most points in a game in Celtics playoff history, and, last time I checked, the Celtics have played a lot of playoff games. He had 29 points in the fourth quarter and overtime. The Wizards had 30. And he did it on his sister’s birthday? He’s just unreal. I have absolutely nothing but respect for him. All he does is prove people wrong and make them look stupid. I got caught up in the “worst one seed ever” hype and was way too critical of him. He’s ripped up his previous reputation for underwhelming playoff performances and taken a big, fat dump on the h8trs. He keeps proving time and again that he’s a legit superstar and can figuratively stand eye to eye with the most talented players in the league. Is he perfect? No. Is he great defensively? No (but, unless my eyes deceived me, he completely locked up John Wall the few times he was on him in the fourth). Is he in the long term picture for the Celtics? I’m not sure. But, unless they really botch the draft or make a panicky win-now move, I’m not really going to worry about that right now. I’ll just enjoy the ride.

While we’re talking Celtics-Wizards, I’d like to congratulate John Wall for having one some of the best three quarters of point guard play you’ll ever see. Too bad there’s four quarters. He let Isaiah Thomas (a.k.a. the Worst Defender in the League) shut him down. He let rookie Jaylen Brown lock him up. Avery Bradley is so far in his and Bradley Beal’s kitchens that he’s making them breakfast and walking their dogs. Marcus Smart is bullying everyone on the Wizards when he feels like rebounding. Kyle Lowry thinks Beal is nowhere to be found. This series is O-V-E-R. The Wizards have quit. They might not even show up for the games in Washington. They held the Celtics’ funeral during the season but in the playoffs the Celtics rose from the dead and are burying the Wizards so deep their bones will turn to oil within the next 50 years. I’ve never heard a better summary of D.C. sports. The Wizards love to act like this tough team who everyone disrespects and they’ll fight everybody and they have this weird sense of entitlement, as if they’ve ever done anything of note, but none of that works if you blow double digit leads every game and have real trouble beating the Hawks. Whatever Morris they have is such a try hard. Every bump is cause for war and every word is an attack against his apparently very fragile manhood. We get, you think you’re tough. Why don’t you actually swing on someone if you care about your image so much? I mean, it’s not like it’ll matter if you’re suspended or since, since, judging by last night’s second half, you’ve been planning your offseason vacation for a while now anyway. John Wall yaps the entire game and stares down everyone after doing anything, but then becomes a wallflower when Bradley starts stripping him every time down the floor. Get this bum-ass team out of my sight and bring me LeBron.

Some Other Playoff Thoughts Since I Didn’t (Forgot To) Do a Second Round Preview:

• Not to rub it in or anything, but everyone saw that Russell Westbrook was pretty much the reason the Thunder lost, right? Just checking. Say his team sucks all you want, but it’s hard to be good when you’re only allowed to shoot at the end of the shot clock.
• Can someone explain the upside of playing with Westbrook to me? Like if I’m a free agent, why would I even consider playing with him? You’re telling me I’m no allowed to rebound, I only get the ball twice a quarter, I’m only allowed to shoot directly off a pass from him, and I’ll get cussed out if I miss (even though I’m ice cold since I haven’t shot in 10 minutes) for ruining his assist? And I’m not even allowed to answer questions asked directly to me in press conferences? And my entire existence has to be devoted to keeping him happy? Taj Gibson looked like Dom in Fast 8. I kept waiting for him to blink twice to show he was okay. It just seems like a miserable life for anyone not named Russell Westbrook. Why would anyone want that?
• I really really really really really hope that was the last time my poor eyes have to watch another Lob City game. It’s over, fellas. Blow it up. Get rid of Doc Rivers, who is somehow still not viewed as the worst coach and GM in the league despite mountains of evidence. Let Blake escape the tyranny of Cliff Paul. Actually, I don’t care what you do as long as I don’t have to listen to how the Clippers are ready to contend next year. No team with CP3 will ever contend. Period.
• Allow me to join the infinite chorus of people saying watch out for the Bucks. But, their path to greatness isn’t an open freeway. They still don’t have much shooting (they sure could use someone like Malik Monk in the draft. If only they could have done something like cut out the middle man and gotten the rights to the Lakers’ pick this year instead of taking Michael Carter-Williams. Oh, well), they need another ball handler, and no one knows what they’re going to with Jabari Parker. The people saying they’ll run the East seem to have forgotten the Celtics are set up perfectly to be good for a long time.
• Got to feel for the Grizzlies, who, because of things like cap situation and draft position, are pretty much resigned to having the exact same team until the end of time. Doubt the people of Memphis would have it any other way, though.
• I fully expect the Spurs to somewhat bounce back after getting completely annihilated in game 1, but other that that, this entire round sucks. Thankfully, it’ll be over soon. The Warriors will sweep Utah easily. The Raptors STINK and stand absolutely no chance whatsoever of finishing any of the four games down by less than 15. The Wizards are dead. The Spurs will probably lose in 6. Let’s just fast forward to the conference finals.
• I don’t want to get my hopes up, but the way the Celtics are playing, they might be able to win a game or two against Cleveland. Hard to be disappointed if you don’t dream too big.
• The Hour of Reckoning is nigh. Less than two weeks until the Draft Lottery. It’s legitimately one of the biggest moments of my life. Last time the Celtics were in this position I convinced myself they’d get Kevin Durant and wound up with the 5th pick. If the NBA rigs it so the Lakers get to keep their top 3 pick and the Celtics get 4th, I’m going to write a strongly worded letter to the league office.
• Choosing the right representative to send to the lottery is key. I don’t know if the Celtics have chosen one yet, but I’m free that night.