Just a Quick Shoutout to the Cleveland Cavaliers


By now I’m sure you’ve heard that the proposed blockbuster trade between the Celtics and Cavaliers was finally, after a tumultuous week of rumors and speculation, officially approved. Kyrie Irving is a Celtic. Isaiah Thomas, Jae Crowder, Ante Zizic, and what will inevitably be the number one overall pick in the 2018 draft (can’t forget that random second round pick the Cavs worked so hard to get!) are now in the Land. The merits of this trade have been debated relentlessly, and will probably continue to be debated until the draft pick’s career comes to an end. I’ve gone back and forth on it, but there’s no point in having a strong opinion of it yet. I’ve been going on and on about how the Celtics should keep the picks at all cost, but I like getting someone of Irving’s caliber and age. That’s not the point of this, though. I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to the Cavs and Dan Gilbert, the grimiest, most self-important, most inexplicably arrogant piece of shit in pro sports.

Seriously, how did the Cavs think they could pull this kind of stunt? Trying to shake the Celtics down for an additional first round pick or Jayson Tatum/Jaylen Brown? Because Isaiah’s injured? Even though the Celtics informed the Cavs about the injury at every turn and it was widely reported by every news outlet he was injured weeks before the trade? Huh? knew Isaiah was hurt and might need surgery that would cause him to miss a significant portion of the season. And the Cavs, one of the two or three most influential teams in the NBA, didn’t? How does that work? The Cavs knew about it and Dan Gilbert, in his infinite wisdom, figured he could hold the Celtics over a barrel and take absolutely everything from them. For a player who everyone knew wanted out. I’m typically not a big business ethics guy, but I don’t think this is really the best way to build relationships and trust throughout the league. “Hey, I know you were transparent and we understood it, but after we had the physical we’re going to act like we had no idea about any of it.” Good work, Dan! You got a second round pick for your troubles. Congrats. Good luck getting anyone to trade with you ever again. But that’s just Gilbert. He’s convinced he’s the smartest guy ever and is obsessed with becoming some cross between Petyr Baelish and Julius Caesar. He thinks he’s this influential behind-the-scenes guy who doubles as a beloved leader of an organization. He thinks he’s the face of the Cavs. And he wonders why LeBron left the first time and why he’s going to leave again. It’s because of you, man! Your own players hate you. Everyone that works for you hates you. Other owners hate you. Anyone who doesn’t use Quicken Loans hates you. Your team is going to stink after next season, and I hope it stinks forever.

Poor Isaiah, by the way. The guy poured everything he had into the Celtics. He became the heart and soul of the team almost instantly. He played a playoff game, and played well, the day after his sister’s tragic death. Don’t know if you’ve heard, but he was the last pick in the draft and is generously listed at 5’9″. Through hard work, dedication, and sheer force of will, he turned himself into a multi-time all star and made 2nd team All NBA last year. All that just to get dragged through the mud by Dan freaking Gilbert. He made him seem like damaged goods. He made it seem like it was a huge burden for him to take on one of the best offensive players in the league. Great way to build team chemistry. He hasn’t played a second for the Cavs, and they’ve already treated him worse than the Kings or Suns ever did, and they treated him like absolute shit. I guess it just feeds into his story. It wouldn’t feel right if he wasn’t discounted at every turn. I’m an Isaiah fan for life, and nothing would make me happier than if he told Dan Gilbert to screw next offseason.

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