I’m Addicted to NBA Fights

fight-timberwolves-magic-punch

If, for whatever reason, you don’t spend every night of the week watching NBA games and going on Twitter to talk about what’s happening like I do, there’s a decent chance you’ve missed some incredible, iiiinnnnncredddibllllllllllle stuff over the last two nights. First you had the amazing Rockets-Clippers game (on MLK Day, no less!) that somehow went from Austin Rivers talking trash to no one in particular while wearing street clothes on the bench to Chris Paul leading Trevor Ariza and Gerald Green down secret tunnels in the Staples Center trying to bust into the Clippers locker room and fight everybody. It still doesn’t seem real. The L.A.P.D. was called!

Then, the very next night, this happens:

Absolutely preposterous scene in Orlando. I think it would have taken me a million years to guess Aaron Afflalo and Nemanja Bjelica if you told me to name the two most random guys to ever get into a fight. I have no idea what Afflalo thought was going to happen. Bjelica is like six inches taller than him and makes him look like a little boy. Might have actually been a genius move on his part, though. I can’t tell you the last time I thought about Aaron Afflalo, but now I can’t think about anyone else. I guarantee other teams are thinking that, too. “It’s almost the All Star Break, time to shake things up and make some trades. We really need a shooting guard whose primary offense is posting up then taking 19-foot turnarounds and someone to add some edge come playoff time. I thought we were out of luck, but now the only option is Aaron Afflalo!” Watch, someone will trade for him now. Probably the Knicks or Kings. And just one week ago, we had this fight:

You know how you can tell James Johnson, second degree black belt, is the most feared player in the NBA? Absolutely NO ONE wanted to get in the middle of that. Do you know how quickly NBA fracases get broken up? Most last a millisecond. But when James Johnson is involved everyone just waits for someone else to make the first move. The poor ref had to try and drag Johnson away. The Raptors are lucky Serge Ibaka can handle himself, because I’ve never seen anyone get thrown to the wolves that badly.

I’ll be honest, I don’t think I can go back to nights where fights don’t happen. I need the rush. I’m addicted to watching two guys yell at each other for a while, maybe push each other, maybe someone throws a punch if we’re really lucky, then get held back and ejected. The ones this year have felt so real and so intense that I can’t imagine enjoying an NBA game that doesn’t have a fight. The thrill of seeing the first video someone tweets out of a fight on a random night of NBA games is unmatched, and I’m not prepared to live in a world where it doesn’t happen every night. They say too much of anything is a bad thing, and to them I would say watch the Malice at the Palace video and try not going down a wormhole of NBA fight videos. Someone get Perk back in the league. Call up Metta World Peace. Is Bruce Bowen too old to step underneath jumpshooters and start a brawl? Tell Steven Adams to go back to the way he was in the beginning of his career when he wasn’t good so he just agitated everyone. Give me more NBA fights. I need more NBA fights. And Cavs locker room drama doesn’t count!

Still the most underrated fight ever:

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