If you’re anything like me, you’re a massive fan of the official Brian’s Den YouTube account. And, as we approach Independence Day, perhaps you wanted to look back at one of the great athletic achievements of all time. So, you fire up the ol’ Tube and search your favorite video when, all of a sudden, you find out that it’s blocked. For what reason? Violence? Problematic content? Toxic comment section? No, something even worse: music copyright infringement.
Unlicensed use of everyone’s favorite ’70s soft rock group Chicago’s music is usually enough to receive the death penalty, so I consider myself lucky I got by only getting my video blocked. I can still watch it, mind you. But the rest of you can’t. Yet another reason why being me really is the greatest gift you can receive.
I won’t lie, I woke up feeling a little different this morning. I’ve got some more confidence and I can tell people on the street are looking at me through a new lens. That’s what happens when you’ve got an edge. When you’re the new bad boy on the block. When you become the guy parents point out to their kids and say “stay away from him, he used a Chicago song on a stupid video without acquiring the rights from Warner Music Group.” Listen, I’m a rebel and a bit of a villain. What are you gonna do about it? Fight me? Please. I’ve been in the mud with the WMG, you think anything you throw at me is gonna faze me? You’d better think again.
The only question is what does one even do when the laws of society no longer apply? I’ve been permanently branded as a troublemaker. Following established conventions and courtesies would just confuse people. I need to pick up a leather jacket, I guess. Start smoking cigs. Never speak; only communicate in sultry and pouty facial expressions. Always wear pants, even when it’s like 1,000 degrees outside. Buy some pre-weathered converse or vans or, better yet, boots that are inappropriate for nearly every occasion. I’m surprised these things didn’t just show up at my doorstep overnight. How else is the world supposed to know the terrible things I’ve done? The kind of mischief I’ve gotten into after school (that I didn’t go to, obvi) and all the loitering I do? Maybe my new attitude will be enough. After all, I’m a bad boy, now. And bad boy life continues no matter what you’re wearing.