What’s Your Animal Valentine?


Folks, it’s Valentine’s Day. The lovely (get it?) holiday we all know and love (get it?). I’ve been watching a lot of nature shows lately after BBC Earth rolled out their MCU-style phase 3 lineup of new shows and I love (get i- alright, I’ll stop) animals. So I decided to combine them and figure out who the best animal valentine would be. I don’t know, it’s hard to always find good angles for holiday posts, alright? Just go with it. To help you choose which animal you’re going to curl up next to tonight, I’ve divided them into helpful categories.

Thoughtful Division


Possum- Mother possums carry like, 20 babies on their backs at the same time. They’ll gladly add your worries and problems to their load. Possums will give you emotional support whenever you need it. Need to vent about work? Got some feelings you need to work through? Ready to be vulnerable after years of neglecting your emotions? Possums are there, ready to listen. Just don’t call them opossums, though, because that makes you sound like a toddler.


Seahorse- How refreshing is it when a man takes charge of his home? Pulls his weight with housework and seizes control domestically. It shows maturity and a desire to settle down for the long haul. Well, seahorses take this to the extreme. Not only will your man cook, clean, and pay the bills, he’ll literally carry your children. He’s the total package and he’s ready to pamper his queen and make sure she never has to lift a finger again.


Any Species of Penguin- Penguins always know what their loved ones need. Shelter from the cold, a loving embrace, a homecooked meal, if you’ve got a hankering for something, penguins will give it to you. They love long walks in the snow, playful dips into the ocean, and squid. Sound like something you can agree with? I thought so.

AUT Book

Wolf Eel- I’ll be honest, wolf eels aren’t brimming with confidence. They know how they look and they know what everyone thinks about them. But that’s what makes them great valentines. They’re so starved for attention that anyone who looks their way will be made to feel like royalty. Wolf eels will make you feel attractive and learn everything about you and always do whatever you want to do. They can be a bit clingy, but you won’t find a more loyal companion.

Romance Division


Peacock- They say money can’t buy love, but that won’t stop peacocks from trying. Peacocks will stop at nothing to give you the most extravagant, over-the-top Valentine’s Day experience. Rose petals? Check. Chocolate? Check. Candles? Check. An Instagram story that’s so long each segment is microscopic? Double check. Peacocks want to give you the best, but they want everyone to know they’re giving you the best.


Rat- Nothing says “I love you” like a romantic dinner, and rats are the masters. Subway pizza, garbage, and, of course, ratatouille are on the menu tonight if you make a rat your mate. Rats know how to set the mood and always know the perfect wine pairing. The lineup of food may be somewhat rigid, but that’s just because they respect you enough to only serve you the best. Tired of dates who can’t handle themselves in the kitchen? Rats are here to ease your culinary suffering.


Lioness- You know what no one likes? Indecisiveness. You know what everyone likes? A woman who can take care of themselves but also has a softer side. Lionesses combine the best of both worlds. They know what they want, and if they want you, buddy, you’d better be ready for a great Valentine’s Day. She’ll make you dinner (at her place, because she’s naturally got a perfect eye for interior decoration), wow you with her wide range of conversation topics, and already have the perfect movie picked out. That is if you even make it that far…


Any kind of Bear- Looking for someone to protect you from the world and wrap you in their big, strong arms? Look no further than the noble bear. Doesn’t matter what kind. They’re all good options. Want a man who will go to any lengths for you and treasure you above everything else? Polar bears can go years without seeing a potential mate. He’d be dying to cuddle up close and protect you from the cold. Want to feel safe and taken care of because it’s hard to always be the masculine, assertive go-getter that’s expected to do everything solo and never complain? How do you think the phrase mama bear came to be? Bears will be there for you when you need them most and are always hoping they can make you feel special and wanted.

Horny Division


Bonobo- Everyone knows bonobos have a great sense of style, but not everyone knows that they jerk off 24/7. Bonobos will greet you with their penis (or clitoris, since they’re abnormally large) and won’t stop until you escape or force them to leave. Things WILL get weird and they’ll probably get three or four of their friends involved at some point. Establishing a safe word is a must, but it might not be particularly reliable since bonobos lack the ability to fully understand human language.


Shoebill Stork- Ladies…fellas….just imagine what that beak can do.


Narwhal- Narwhals have been looking forward to this day all year because they know anything goes in the bedroom. Maybe you’ve been scared of the tusk. Maybe he’s been scared of the tusk. Either way, you’ve both been holding back. But it’s Valentine’s Day, now. Don’t worry. He’s a sensual lover.


Chameleon- What’s that? You don’t think someone who can change color to blend in with anything and has a ten-mile-long tongue would make a good lover? Alright. Remind me not to invite you to the next orgy.

Yes, I am a little ashamed of this. But not enough to stop me from pressing publish. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Sea Cucumber Poaching Ring Finally Brought to Justice


source– A Seattle-area fish processor who hoped to cash in on China’s appetite for sea cucumber faces years in prison for his role in a $1.5m poaching scheme that rocked an already unstable fishery.

Federal prosecutors claim Hoon Namkoong led a years-long operation to poach and sell sea cucumbers as regulators were cutting the struggling Washington state fishery. Dozens of divers are also implicated in the poaching ring. Namkoong bought at least 250,000lb of stolen sea cucumber taken illegally from waters once rich with the echinoderms.

A leading US sea cucumber wholesaler, Namkoong made millions selling to buyers domestically and in China, where demand has spiked for sea cucumber. Namkoong, 62, faces up to two years in prison when he is sentenced on Friday.

Let me start off by saying poachers are scum. They all deserve to be killed by the animals they take advantage of so brutally. In the interest of time, the sea cucumber poaching ring should probably just be shot, but the point remains. Poachers are the lowest form of human existence.

That being said, if I could put myself in my friend Hoon’s shoes here, I can see how tempting it would be to illegally acquire countless sea cucumbers. In fact, if he hasn’t immediately sold all of them on the black market and instead kept them for observation, I’d actually applaud the initiative. Sea cucumbers are the weirdest things in the world. Like, undoubtedly. We know absolutely nothing about them. We can’t tell how old they are, what gender they are (my guess is Maverique), why they act the way they do, or why they sometimes kill themselves by spitting their guts out. They’re practically aliens, and no one is making an effort to understand them better. Except Hoon Namkoong.

Again, he turned out to be nothing but an charlatan, but I refuse to believe he never had a passion for sea cucumber discovery. The first time he held one of the strange creatures I know something went off in his head. I know he felt like discovering the truth about them was his life’s calling. And somewhere along the way, that love got corrupted by the pull of capitalism and corruption. A sad story, indeed. How many promising careers have been derailed by the poisoning touch of crime? At least one, that’s for sure.

I don’t want to stretch myself too thin, here, but I’m willing to take up Hoon’s original mission and make some real discoveries in the sea cucumber world. It’s true that we haven’t made any progress in the field for 30,000 years, but sometimes it takes a special individual to break through. I firmly believe I am that individual. I vow that, by the time I die, I will have found out, at the very least, I will be able to tell what gender, if any, a sea cucumber is. That alone would make me a legend. If I can add in finding out how old they are? They’ll build me a statue. Can’t say I wouldn’t deserve it, honestly. Someone get me a sea cucumber. I’ve got some work to do.

Breaking: Some Hummingbirds Mix in a Twist to their Mating Rituals


source– In most North American hummingbirds, males court females by diving at them head on — but Costa’s hummingbirds (Calypte costae) perform their courtship dives off to the side. Researchers now find that this strategy allows the males to aim sounds at potential mates as if they were using a megaphone.

During high-speed courtship dives, males fan their tails at the last second to create a high-pitched chirp. The faster the dive, the more those tail feathers vibrate and the higher the pitch created by the would-be Romeos. Researchers suspect that females prefer higher-pitched dives, which results in various strategies to boost the frequency of the noise a male makes.

A study published on 12 April in Current Biology finds that male Costa’s hummingbirds can twist half of their tail feathers in the direction of the female, manipulating the volume and pitch of their chirps …. The researchers suspect that the targeted noise also masks audio cues that the females can use to judge how fast the males are diving.

“You can think of the feather as being like a flashlight,” says Chris Clark, an ornithologist at the University of California, Riverside. “If you point the flashlight straight at something, the light is much brighter. And if you look at it from the side, at a 90-degree angle, there’s still some light but not nearly as much.”

Using high-speed cameras and a specialized wind tunnel that measures sound levels and direction, Clark found that male Costa’s hummingbirds are able to boost their dive sounds by as much as 11 decibels — compared to straight-tailed dives — by aiming the chirps at females. “Eleven decibels would be quite noticeable to a human,” he says. “A 10-decibel difference is the difference between a fairly quiet room and a somewhat noisy room.”

“I never could have predicted any of this,” says Doug Altshuler, an integrative biologist who studies hummingbird flight at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada. The tail-turning paper is just the latest in a long line of surprising discoveries Clark has added to the literature, he says. “I think it is very likely to wind up in textbooks as an exemplary case of sexual selection.”

Folks, when I say this study comes as a huge relief, you better believe I’m not exaggerating. Considering how slow science typically moves, I was beginning to think I would die before I found out the intricacies of the Costa’s hummingbird mating technique. Well, let me tell you, this is the biggest news to cross my desk in a long time.

I totally get where the Costa’s hummingbird is coming from, here. Talking to girls face to face is scary. Talking to any stranger face to face is tough, that’s why I just live online. There’s no pressure in interacting with someone through the Internet. Just like there’s no pressure directing your chirps at a lovely lady from an odd angle. The Costa’s hummingbird pretty much invented bird sexting. All parties involved know that the chirp isn’t a realistic depiction of the bird himself. Like the hummingbird with the highest pitch chirp isn’t necessarily the most handsome hummingbird. He’s just the best at manipulating his environment to create an exaggerated image of himself that makes him seem like an adequate partner. I respect that. I respect that a lot, actually.

Now, I can’t be 100% in on the Costa’s hummingbird’s vibe. If you’ve got those feathers you can’t be the insecure guy who has to doctor their chirp. That’s just a slap in the face to God. You either look good or have personality. You can’t have both. Leave these kind of theatrics and deception to the ugly birds out there. You know how needs to trick females into mating with him? This guy:


You know who needs to spend hours agonizing over the correct angles and when to break off their dive and when to chirp, because they know without a perfectly executed mating ritual, their looks enough aren’t enough? Him:


You know who can roll out of bed and pick up females left and right? The Costa’s hummingbird.


So while I appreciate the average Costa’s hummingbird male’s struggle and latent insecurity, maybe just take a look in the mirror or something. Believe me, things could be a lot worse.

Real Headline: Sexual Competition Among Ducks Wreaks Havoc on Penis Size

Please, have some decency


source– Male ducks respond to sexual competition by growing either an extra-long penis or a nub of flesh, a new study finds. The unusual phenomena occurred in two species studied: the lesser scaup (Aythya affinis) and the ruddy duck (Oxyura jamaicensis). It suggests that penis size — in line with many traits and behaviours meant to impress or allow impregnation of the opposite sex — involves a trade-off between the potential to reproduce and to survive.

Patricia Brennan, an evolutionary biologist at Mount Holyoke College in South Hadley, Massachusetts, compared the penises of ducks kept in male–female pairs to those housed with multiple males per female.

“If they were alone with a female, the males just grew a normal-sized penis, but if there were other males around, they had the ability to change dramatically,” Brennan says. “So evolution must be acting on the ability to be plastic — the ability to invest only in what is needed in your current circumstance.”

Because evolutionary success relies on reproduction, genitals are adapted to meet the varied circumstances that every animal faces. Some male ducks, for example, have penises in the shape of corkscrews to navigate the labyrinth-like vaginas of their female counterparts. An earlier study by Brennan found that females’ anatomy evolved to prevent access to undesirable males who force copulation. To mate successfully with their chosen partners, Brennan says, female ducks assume a posture that allows males to enter them fully and deposit sperm near eggs.

However, evolutionary changes in the size of body parts are generally thought to happen over generations, not within an individual’s lifetime. Brennan wondered whether ducks might buck this trend because some species’ penises emerge anew every breeding season and degenerate afterwards. Similarly, acorn barnacles (Semibalanus balanoides) — hermaphroditic, shelled sea creatures cemented to rocks — generate their penises only when it’s time to mate. Because they use their penises to grope for other barnacles to inseminate, the organ’s length depends on the proximity of a barnacle’s neighbours.

Brennan and her colleagues fenced off habitats so that ducks would live either in pairs or in groups with almost twice as many males as females for two breeding seasons over the course of two years. The lesser scaups grew longer penises when they were forced to compete for females than when they were coupled up. A larger reproductive organ likely improves their chances of fertilizing an egg.

But the results of the social environment on ruddy ducks were more complicated. During the first year, only the largest males in the groups grew long penises (about 18 centimetres each), whereas smaller males developed half-centimetre stubs. In the second year, smaller males grew normal-sized penises, but they lasted for just five weeks, whereas the largest males kept their penises for three months.

Clues may lie in the drama of ruddy-duck life. The birds have some of the largest penis-to-body ratios found in nature — with penises sometimes longer than their bodies. “I can’t imagine they could grow any longer,” Brennan says. The birds have also been known to fight to the death, which suggests that smaller ruddy ducks might be too stressed to develop penises normally. “Bullying may increase stress hormones, and those could counteract the effects of androgen hormones” that control penis growth, Brennan says.

This response to stress could be adaptive. The same androgen hormones that trigger penis growth every season in birds also underlie colouration. They cause the duck’s feathers to turn from dull brown to chestnut when it’s time to breed, and their bills to go from grey to bright blue. To females, the wardrobe change signals a male’s readiness. To neighbouring males, it foreshadows a fight. “I think the small ones go through it quickly so that there’s less danger of getting beaten up,” Brennan says.

The study is “really interesting”, says Charlie Cornwallis, an evolutionary biologist at Lund University in Sweden. “This suggests there is a cost to having a large penis because individuals are investing according to the competition they face from other males.” Cornwallis says that few studies have investigated the effect of environmental and social conditions on penis size, and that these evolutionary trade-offs could be more common than imagined.

(I know I posted pretty much the whole article but it was too good not to)

Oh, man. What world we live in. There’s really not a lot to add to this headline, but I’m going to fight my better instincts and do it anyway. First off, who’s idea was it to do this study in the first place? What kind of messed up penis was that duck working with that triggered someone to be like, “wow, that’s way different than what everyone else has, I should do a study to find out everything I can about two specific species of ducks’ penis sizes?” Like what the hell? I thought size didn’t matter? She told me it was fine and that I shouldn’t be embarrassed about it, but I guess not. Looks like I’ll have to start watching my back (or front, I suppose) to make sure I’m not the one who sets off the study about human penis size. That would be pretty mortifying.

I came out of this really feeling for duck men. Sounds like they live in some kind of eternal hell. They grow a new penis every year during mating season only to have it deteriorate and decay until it falls off? No thank you. I mean, sure it might be nice to play the penis lottery if you’re sick of the one you have, but talk about a terrible feeling to have. Just knowing you’ve only got a penis for one season out of the year. Not a great position to be in.

And then I’ve got to call out this article a little bit, too. They were penis-shaming everyone. The ones with penises longer than their bodies. The ones with fleshy nubs. The ones with corkscrew penises. How else are my duck friends supposed to navigate the “labyrinth-like vaginas of their female counterparts?” Everything can’t be irregular. You can’t point and laugh at everybody. Duck penises are like snowflakes- no two are the same, and that’s perfectly okay. I’d like to see the duck they based their concept of normalcy on. What kind of penis did he have that mating season? Something perfectly shaped and pliable but is also the ideal size? Cool. Not everyone can be Superman. Sorry, but I’m here to stick up for the little guys (and the irregular shaped guys). Have some empathy, here. Imagine being a duck and seeing this walk by:


What choice do you have but to grow an irregularly shaped penis? Sorry, but I refuse to throw dirt on duck males’ good name. To all the haters: lay off. It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean. Sorry not everyone has a cookie-cutter penis. To all the duck males reading this: you’re not alone. You may be catching heat from all sides, including from your own potential mates, but you’ve got at least one friend out there. I’ll stand by you through your darkest days, because sometimes in times of penis-related stress, all you need is a shoulder to cry on.


What Could Happen During the Eclipse


There’s an eclipse today. Don’t know if you’ve heard. It’s all anyone can talk about. Eclipse this, eclipse that. Were I someone else, I might complain of eclipse fatigue. But, while most of the country is content to merely risk their eyesight by staring directly at the sun for minutes at a time and leave it at that, I recognize the significance of an eclipse. Sure, it’s not as fun or mystical as a blood moon, but an eclipse can still shake up the natural order of things. What’s up becomes down, left becomes right, inside becomes out. Eclipses only last a few minutes, but can still have lasting effects. Before you start panicking and start preparing like it’s Y2K again, take a deep breath and relax, because, as usual, I have all the answers. Sometimes people can be caught off guard by the topsy-turvy nature of eclipses, but I have foreseen all of it. Here are just a few things to look for in the couple days to come.

Animals Will Start Acting Crazy


It’s common knowledge that animals don’t like eclipses. Dogs will start barking, cats will get all upset, the whole deal. But don’t expect Fido to just go back to normal after the eclipse. Maybe he’ll start walking on his hind legs all the time. Maybe horses will want people food. Maybe cats will start swimming. Maybe the dogs will start walking people. Perhaps, because of the bizarre power instilled in the animals from a solar event lasting mere seconds, the oxen and beasts of the field will shed the yoke of labor and force it on their former masters. Maybe it’s a metaphor for the fact that in the new post-eclipse world it will be impossible to distinguish between the supposedly civilized humans and the feral creatures of the wilderness. I can only relay the messages I get from the crystal ball, not interpret them.

People May Accomplish Feats of Great Strength


Again, this isn’t a blood moon and I live in the realm of reality, so I’m not going to predict everyone is going to momentarily gain super powers or anything. But that doesn’t mean something special won’t be in the air. Don’t be surprised if you’ve got a little extra pep in your step when you’re clanging iron in the gym or if that jar opens a little easier than usual. There might be a hundred home runs hit tonight across the MLB. Seeing a solar eclipse sends signals to an old, animalistic part of the brain that is dormant for pretty much every second of your life. But when activated by the eclipse, it stimulates your muscles and releases special pheromones that increase natural strength levels to supernatural proportions. It’s science. It’s a fleeting strength, gone after a few moments, so don’t try anything too dangerous. I don’t want to hear about anyone getting caught under a vending machine tomorrow.

Bad Quarterbacks Will Become Good


I know what you’re thinking. “This is such a specific and odd thing that affects a minuscule portion of the population there’s no way it can be true.” I assure you, it is. The same way the eclipse raises our strength, it also improves our abilities to throw objects accurately and read defenses. It’s already happening, too. Trevor Siemian was just named Broncos starter. The Jets are confident about both Josh McCown and Christian McCaffrey. The Browns traded for Brock Osweiler solely because they knew an eclipse was coming and were hoping this brief moment of clarity would unlock all that potential once and for all. I know it sounds far fetched, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the NFL somehow orchestrated the eclipse to help build parity throughout the league.

Food Will Taste Worse


Look, I’m dealing in cold, hard facts. No one wants to hear that their food is going to taste bad, but, unfortunately, it is. We’re losing out on valuable minutes of sunlight, here. Who knows what that will do to fruits and vegetables that need the sun to grow. Now instead of getting picked at the perfect time, they’re getting picked two and a half minutes early. I don’t think I need to tell you why that’s a big deal. Say goodbye to ripe fruit for a while. No more crisp, healthy veggies on your table. Not to mention the fact that all the aforementioned animals that you like to eat like to eat the fruits and vegetables that will now be a little less ripe that ideal, potentially compromising their own flavor. It’s a good thing my diet is primarily comprised of synthetic and processed food, otherwise I might be a little upset.

Ballers Will Become the Best Show On TV


Oh, wait, it already is.

(Just a quick Ballers aside, it might legitimately be the most impressive piece of world building ever put on screen. I mean, think about all the absurd things that have happened just this season (spoiler alert, but let’s be honest, you’ve already watched every episode): the supposed third best defensive tackle in the league (and maybe worst actor in history) would willingly give up multiple millions of dollars to get a $20,000 sponsorship from a weed company. Ricky Jarrett lost over $2 million playing craps and then got picked up a nasty case of CTE like you would catch a cold. The head coach of the Dolphins, one of the most historic, rich, and popular franchises in the NFL, wears generic Under Armour gear when coaching as apposed to, you know, Dolphins stuff. One of The Rock’s sexual partners wears a shirt from his real-life Under Armour line, only in this universe there is no Rock since The Rock is Spencer Strasmore. Spencer, a random sports agent, is the driving force behind the Raiders moving to Las Vegas, and still the least realistic thing to happen is that Jerry Jones, who may or may not exist in the Ballers-verse, would ever concede decision making power to anyone, let alone Shooter McGavin. I love this show.)

You Will Forget About the Eclipse Two Seconds After It Happens


Of all the predictions I’ve made, this is the one I’m most sure about. Part of the reason I even wrote this was so that I myself would remember it happened. Eclipses bring lots of arcane magic with them that I don’t fully understand, but none of it is as powerful as their capacity to make everyone forget they happen the moment they end. Come tomorrow, you will forget Eclipse 2017 was ever something that captivated the nation. This will all seem like a dream, if anything. A distant memory from another life. A brief phenomenon that didn’t change your life whatsoever. Hope you kept your receipt for your eclipse glasses, because you may not even know why you got them, soon.

Scientists Create “True Blue” Chrysanthemums via Genetic Engineering, Open Door for Limitless Possibilities


source– Roses are red, but science could someday turn them blue. That’s one of the possible future applications of a technique researchers have used to genetically engineer blue chrysanthemums for the first time.

Chyrsanthemums come in an array of colours, including pink, yellow and red. But all it took to engineer the truly blue hue — and not a violet or bluish colour — was tinkering with two genes, scientists report in a study published on 26 July in Science Advances. The team says that the approach could be applied to other commercially important flowers, including carnations and lilies.

“Consumers love novelty,” says Nick Albert, a plant biologist at the New Zealand Institute for Plant & Food Research in Palmerston North, New Zealand. And “people actively seek out plants with blue flowers to fill their gardens”.

Plenty of flowers are bluish, but it’s rare to find true blue in nature, says Naonobu Noda, a plant researcher at the National Agriculture and Food Research Organization near Tsukuba, Japan, and lead study author. Scientists, including Noda, have tried to artificially produce blue blooms for years: efforts that have often produced violet or bluish hues in flowers such as roses and carnations. Part of the problem is that naturally blue blossoming plants aren’t closely related enough to commercially important flowers for traditional methods — including selective breeding — to work.

Most truly blue blossoms overexpress genes that trigger the production of pigments called delphinidin-based anthocyanins. The trick to getting blue flowers in species that aren’t naturally that colour is inserting the right combination of genes into their genomes. Noda came close in a 2013 study when he and his colleagues found that adding a gene from a naturally blue Canterbury bells flower (Campanula medium) into the DNA of chrysanthemums (Chrysanthemum morifolium) produced a violet-hued bloom.

As everyone’s favorite Flower Expert, I knew I had to weigh in here. To be honest, I’m kind of conflicted. True blue flowers are rare. In fact, they hardly exist naturally. They’re all either mostly purple or really light blue, nothing purely blue. If you manage to get ahold of some truly blue blossoms you’ll be the cock of the walk in your neighborhood and be the source of some serious garden-envy. So creating them artificially completely saps the exclusivity. If they just started giving Ferraris away, what’s the point of driving one anymore? Just because Mrs. Smith down the street is jealous of the beautiful, azure paradise I’ve created in my backyard doesn’t mean she should be able to throw a tantrum and get some for herself. Not only that, but why waste this technology on chrysanthemums? I mean they’re alright, but they’re kind of amateur hour. If I see someone with genetically modified blue chrysanthemums, I’m probably gonna lose a lot of respect for that person. Have some pride in your ornamental plants. If you want some blue flowers, be a man and breed them yourself. People forget that carrots were originally purple. Now look at them. These darn Millennials don’t know the value of hard work and patience anymore.

On the other hand, I’m generally a fan of genetically modified things. They usually taste better, last longer, look better, etc. I like the arrogance it takes to say “you know what, I know that this plant/animal has been the same for hundreds of years after a millennia of evolution and survival, but I don’t like it this way. I’m going to undo all of that with one experiment.” This brings us one step closer to real life blue raspberries, too. I wouldn’t want to eat any because blue raspberry doesn’t taste anything like actual raspberries, but I would like knowing that they finally exist. It kind of opens the door to a lot of cool color combinations. Again, leave the flowers out of it, but how about something like a green lemon. Can’t imagine how that would look. Or some white broccoli, that’d be wild. Or, just spitballing here, an orange with some red inside. I don’t really know if the science is that advanced yet, but I’m kind of just making a wishlist, here.

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