All or Nothing is like Water in a Desert

It’s summer. Fourth of July is tomorrow. Everyone is feeling joyful and patriotic and enjoying the sunshine and cookouts. Add in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, and this is one of the happiest, most carefree times of the year for normal Americans. Well, unfortunately, I’m not a normal American, and all I can think about is how much I need football back in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love baseball. It was the first sport I ever loved. But now that we’re knee deep in the summer grind? Someone get me to September, STAT.

As always, though, Amazon has the answer. Season 2 of All or Nothing was just released on Amazon Prime, and I’ve never needed anything more. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s basically Hard Knocks, but during the regular season not the pre-season. So take away the contrived storylines about guys fighting for roster spots, meaningless pre-season games, and people trying way too hard to become the newest Hard Knocks-guy (the guy with the catchphrase, the guy who’s just so wacky, the coach who’s way too vulgar, etc.) and add in regular season games, features about players who are actually good, and, since it hasn’t really caught on yet, everyone seems to be pretty genuine. It’s just better. Unfortunately, while season 1 was about the Cardinals and we got to see some playoff preparation, this season is about the Rams. The Rams were also the subject of Hard Knocks last year. Literally every second of the 2016 L.A. Rams season was captured for us football-starved suckers to consume. The 2016 Rams might have been the most boring team of all time, so do we really need all this Rams access? But, beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll just consume this snippet of football like a good, loyal sheep and count the days until training camp starts. It’s been a while, so I forget, who won the Super Bowl last year? I remember it was a crazy game, I just can’t think of who won. Oh, that’s right, it was the Patriots! The Patriots won the Super Bowl last year. And they’re going to do it again this year. Must suck rooting for anyone else.

P.S. Two seconds in I was triggered harder than I’ve ever been triggered before:

20 minutes in to all or nothing and I’m already triggered. Hey, case keenum, take your god damn shoes off pic.twitter.com/8MhIqnEyvB

— Brian Curran (@TheBrianCurran) June 30, 2017

SMH