69 Thoughts on Rob Gronkowski, The Greatest Tight End in NFL History

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  1. Rob Gronkowski retired from the NFL yesterday.
  2. Rob Gronkowski is the greatest player to ever play the tight end position and one of the greatest all-around football players in league history.
  3. If you think there’s a tight end that was better than Rob Gronkowski you’re wrong.
  4. Gronk was the best blocking tight end ever and the best receiving tight end ever. Do the math.
  5. The best number 87 in NFL history, too.
  6. People forget his brother Chris played in the league, too.
  7. People forget his brother Dan played in the league, too.
  8. People forget his brother Glenn played in the league, too.
  9. Five best Gronk seasons
  10. 90 catches, 1,327 yards, 17 TDs (2011)- also the greatest season in tight end history
  11. 82 catches, 1,124 yards, 12 TDs (2014)
  12. 72 catches, 1,176 yards, 11 TDs (2015)
  13. 69 catches, 1,084 yards, 8 TDs (2017)- surely his favorite season
  14. 81 catches, 1,163 yards, 12 TDs (16 playoff games)
  15. List of various records Gronk has
  16. Only tight end to lead the league in touchdown catches.
  17. Only tight end with over 1,000 career playoff receiving yards.
  18. Naturally, that makes him the all-time leader in playoff receiving yards by a tight end.
  19. Most TD catches in a season by a tight end (17).
  20. Most TDs in a season by a tight end (18).
  21. Most playoff receiving TDs by a tight end (12).
  22. Most seasons with 10+ TDs by a tight end (5).
  23. Only tight end with three 1,000+ yard and 10+ TD seasons.
  24. Tied for most 1,000 yard seasons by tight end (4, with Tony Gonzalez).
  25. Most consecutive seasons with 10+ TDs by a tight end (3).
  26. Tied for most TDs in first two seasons (28, with Randy Moss).
  27. Youngest player with 3 TD catches in a game (2010).
  28. Youngest player with 3 TD catches in a playoff game (2011).
  29. Most Super Bowl receptions by tight end (23).
  30. Most Super Bowl receiving yards by tight end (297).
  31. All-time leader in tight end yards per game (68.3- so close!)
  32. All-time leader in tight end touchdowns per game (.69- hell yeah)
  33. All-time leader in tight end yards per target (9.9)
  34. Tom Brady’s passer rating when targeting Gronk was 127.1
  35. My favorite parts of Gronk’s career:
  36. When he had 7 TDs in the second half of his rookie year and announced himself to the world.
  37. When he threatened to revolutionize the NFL in 2011 when his partnership with [redacted] tore up the league with the greatest tight end production ever.
  38. As he steadily added new massive braces every year, he became harder to tackle.
  39. All the Pats haters realizing they liked Gronk, thus breaking their brains.
  40. Having the best quarterback ever throw to the best tight end ever was pretty sweet, if you ask me.
  41. Best individual games/moments:
  42. The camo elbow brace
  43. When he nearly won the 2015 AFC Championship Game in Denver single-handedly.
  44. When he was an inch away from catching the deflected Hail Mary in the 2011 Super Bowl.
  45. His final catch- the diving catch that set up the only touchdown in this year’s Super Bowl.
  46. Yo Soy Fiesta
  47. Gronk somehow managing to be the ultimate frat bro but being almost universally beloved throughout his career is an underrated phenomenon.
  48. Gronk was a true 1-of-1. No one that big and strong will ever be as fast and nimble as he was.
  49. Hey, Travis Kelce, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be as good or as cool as Gronk. Boom, roasted.
  50. This preposterous Dunkin ad.
  51. I’ll be honest, 69 is a lot of thoughts to have on Gronk.
  52. That time he was photographed with porn star Bibi Jones and had to apologize to Bob Craft is so funny now.
  53. Hate on the Pats all you want, Gronk was a genuinely good guy.
  54. He’s a regular at schools and children’s hospitals and seems to actually enjoy giving back.
  55. Probably doesn’t hurt that the kids all have the same sense of humor as he does.
  56. It’s too late for a Wrestlemania run this year, but 2020?
  57. It makes too much sense.
  58. I’m gonna miss Gronk, man.
  59. On the field, he’s irreplaceable. Probably the second-most irreplaceable player from this entire run (wonder who’s number one?).
  60. I’ll pray for all the tables in the greater Western New York area.
  61. Let’s be honest, though. He’ll be back for the playoffs.

 

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