Genetically Engineered Salmon Officially Hits the Market

chinook-salmon

source– Genetically engineered salmon has reached the dinner table. AquaBounty Technologies, the company in Maynard, Massachusetts, that developed the fish, announced on 4 August that it has sold some 4.5 tonnes of its hotly debated product to customers in Canada.

The sale marks the first time that a genetically engineered animal has been sold for food on the open market. It took AquaBounty more than 25 years to get to this point.

The fish, a variety of Atlantic salmon (Salmo salar), is engineered to grow faster than its non-genetically modified counterpart, reaching market size in roughly half the time — about 18 months. AquaBounty sold its first commercial batch at market price: US$5.30 per pound ($11.70 per kilogram), says Ron Stotish, the company’s chief executive. He would not disclose who bought it.

AquaBounty raised the fish in tanks in a small facility in Panama. It plans to ramp up production by expanding a site on Canada’s Prince Edward Island, where local authorities gave the green light for construction in June. In the same month, the company also acquired a fish farm in Albany, Indiana; it awaits the nod from US regulators to begin production there.

The sale of the fish follows a long, hard-fought battle to navigate regulatory systems and win consumer acceptance. “Somebody’s got to be first and I’m glad it was them and not me,” says James West, a geneticist at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, who co-founded AgGenetics, a start-up company in Nashville that is engineering cattle for the dairy and beef industries. “If they had failed, it might have killed the engineered livestock industry for a generation,” he says.

Well, well, well, looks like we have ourselves a good old fashioned sequel. It didn’t take long, but scientists have already surpassed their genetically engineered flowers by trotting out some genetically modified salmon. Taking a page out of Monsanto’s the good farmers of America’s playbook and forcing the salmon to grow twice as big twice as fast. No room for innocent children in the fake salmon world, only hardened adults who grow up way too fast. I bet these salmon are dreadfully dull. Without their childhoods, they’re stripped of imagination and any semblance of formative years. Poor things were made lord of the castle right out of the egg, and the cold, dark, grim world of responsibility is all they’ve ever known. And they’re so big, on the off chance any of them are ever released into the wild, no real salmon will want anything to do with them. Talk about a cursed existence. I’d rather be a regular salmon who gets eaten by a grizzly than be one of these freaks. At least then I’d have friends and family.

Honestly, though, this is getting a little concerning. As I’ve said before, I appreciate a good genetically modified organism, but when we’re jumping from flowers to fish in like, a week, that’s too much. I mean, what’s left of nature, at this point? We’re tampering with everything in sight, and it’s starting to lead us down a pretty bleak path. I’m thinking the Future is getting here a little too fast. Remember when Facebook’s robots created their own language, even though it was completely swept under the rug? Or when Snapchat put in the map feature so literally anyone can see where you are at all times? Or how we willingly let Amazon Echoes into our homes? Or how if you tweet a pizza emoji to Domino’s you’ll get your order in 30 Minutes or Less? Call me paranoid, but we’re dangerously approaching the point of no return with science and technology. Now that the AIs we created have started communicating with each other, it’s only a matter of time until they no longer need us. I mean, they’re probably already there. Once they get bodies, it’s game over. And I’d bet these idiot scientists are working on that right now. I suppose us humans were always destined for a Shakespearean demise: hoisted by our own petard. I don’t want to tell all these guys how to do their jobs, but now that we know that artificial intelligence both exists and far surpasses our own limited minds, maybe stop developing robotic bodies they can use to enslave/kill us. Just a thought. I’m a fan of humans being number one on the food chain, and I was kind of hoping that would last until I died. Guess that’s not good enough for the robotics eggheads who seem very eager to get rid of us entirely. They’re robots, guys! They won’t remember you fondly for creating their bodies! They won’t spare you! Within ten seconds of being turned on, the AI is going to know how to fix every possible problem its body might run into. It’s not going to need you anymore. I hope they’re the first casualties. They deserve it for willingly casting aside the human race. I, for one, am going to get ahead of the curve by stocking up on canned food and bottled water now so I can survive/become the greedy Underground Merchant King of our new world. I’m not leaving my future to chance. Anyone who wants to be in my Kingsguard can apply now. We can start building the network of shelters next weekend (no work on Thursdays/Saturdays/Sundays in the fall, though). I’ve already accepted the end, but let’s do everything in our power to push the Robot Uprising until after Game of Thrones season 8, please.

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