God of War Comes Out Tomorrow, Which Means I’ll Be Making My Heavily Anticipated Debut in the World of Video Game Streaming

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Folks, I’m jacked up. Impossibly jacked up, honestly. God of War comes out tomorrow for PS4, and it’s getting rave reviews. I’m getting aroused just thinking about inserting that disc into my system.

The God of War series is one of my favorites ever. Along with playing a decent baseball game, they’re the main reason I stayed with Playstation. I’m a massive mythology guy. Huge. I took a course on ancient mythology in college and everything. I know more about Greek mythology than anyone who isn’t an accredited expert, and you can quote me on that. I think that, since I still have the emotional maturity of a small child, the limitless possibilities and fantastic worlds of ancient mythology appeal to me far more than boring old real life. And going around killing the who’s who of Greek mythology made 13-year-old me very happy. But this time it’s different. Kratos retired, got a new family, and moved to Scandinavia. Like all great action heroes, he just wants to be left alone, but someone kills his wife of something (again), so now he’s got to go kill everyone from Norse mythology, too. I must admit, I’m not the biggest expert on Norse mythology. I’ve done some Wikipedia research. I have an (unread) copy of The Saga of the Volsungs I bought for some unfinished project I was doing, but I know the gist of it. I’m not some plebeian, so I know Richard Wagner’s operatic adaptation. I’ve seen the Thor movies. I watched the first three seasons of Vikings. You know what? I’m willing to bet that actually makes me a practical expert. Norse mythology is a very niche topic. It’s my, like, tenth best subject and I know way more about it than you. You must be embarrassed.

Anyway, I’ve been kind of wondering if and when I wanted to start streaming games. I’m terrible at shooters, so watching me play Fortnite would have been a waste of everyone’s time. But God of War? That’s something I can show people what’s what in. That’s something I can impress people with my excellent play and witty commentary. And, since it’ll be the hot game in the streets, there’s a tiny chance someone other than (some of) my friends might watch. So, whenever I get the game (this will be my first delivery to the new place. So exciting!!!) and install it, I’ll start streaming. I was debating between Twitch and YouTube, and I decided on YouTube, because, if we’re being honest, no one’s going to watch the first few (hundred) times I stream, so might as well upload to a platform that lets you watch your old footage. I’ll post the link to the stream here when I start, and I’ll probably just post the completed stream when I’m done. I think the hardest part will be to not just play for a million hours at once since no one will want to watch that. My last few videos haven’t exactly set the world on fire, but until someone has the guts to tell me I need to stop making them, well, you’re stuck in the awkward position of ignoring them while also telling me you’re going to watch it later. Trust me, you’re going to want to watch me play video games. It’s going to be electric.

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