Brininho’s Den World Cup Thoughts pt. 2

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The World Cup is trudging on, and the Round of 16 picture is becoming clearer. Many of the favorites have already clinched, some teams that faced scares are fighting back while others (Argentina) are wilting. The race for the Golden Boot is heating up and could (I repeat, could) theoretically be contested all the way to the Final. Anyway, here’s another round of Cup Thoughts.

  • Can we just take a second to appreciate the fact that we’re currently living at the same time as the two undisputed (to anyone who isn’t Pele) G.O.A.T.s? Think about how preposterous that is. It’s one thing for it to happen in American-centric sports like football or basketball. But for the two best players in futbol history to enter their primes at the exact same time is amazing. And I know in the age of Twitter and takes you can’t like both, but I’m going to take a stand and say that I love both Ronaldo and Messi with all my heart. Yes, I am #TeamMessi, and yes, it’s a rough patch right now, but how people limit their enjoyment of these two wonderfully skilled and unique players just because they’ve decided to make their Twitter background a picture of one of them is baffling to me. It’s not a perfect comparison, but imagine not allowing yourself to like Steph Curry just because you love LeBron. Why would you do that to yourself? Ronaldo is the ultimate physical marvel- speed, power, athleticism combined with an obsessive drive to improve his already flawless technique. Messi is a wizard who controls the ball through telekinesis and never looks like he’s breaking a sweat. Ronaldo fanboys are certainly the more vocal of the two factions, but why would you rob yourself of the pleasure of enjoying both of them? Makes no sense.
  • That being said, it’s not fair that Cristiano can just start experimenting with typically terrible looks and pull them off perfectly
  • Speaking of new facial hair, I’m kind of feeling Luis Suarez’s bearded swole/thicc look he’s got going on.
  • I’m so happy Nigeria beat Iceland and kept Argentina alive, if only because the takes that would have come out of an inevitable Messi hat-trick after being eliminated would have increased the Greenhouse Effect by at least 75%.
  • The font Adidas is using on their player names STINKS. Like, who approved this?That says Brandt, if you can’t tell. The letters all look the same, the 1s are the same as 7s, it’s just a mess. And most of the actual jerseys are good, too. Just ruined by a stupid font.
  • I’m writing this in the midst of Spain vs. Morocco which may render this moot, but I need some more red cards in my life. Everything has been too nice. Back in my day, the players weren’t all buddy-buddy and actually competed with each other and fouls were allowed and players didn’t take all these 3 pointers and- whoops, sorry. Slipped into my “old basketball guy” schtick again. I confess that my otherwise extensive footy knowledge doesn’t include what old, bitter players and fans say about today’s generation of players (has to be some variation of soft and pampered), but I would like to see more players lose their heads. Handballs don’t count.
  • Piggybacking off that, I have officially put all my life savings on “Neymar to get himself ejected the first time someone touches him because he feels like throwing a temper tantrum” at -200
  • R.I.P. Mo Salah
  • Harry Kane should not be a high level professional athlete. He’s got 99% dock worker DNA but somehow wound up with the gene that produces world-class strikers. Why couldn’t that have been me?
  • Now that Russia played a good team and lost, France has to be the worst-looking team that’s won both games. Do they know the World Cup started already?
  • Meanwhile, Peru goes balls-to-the-wall for 180 minutes, has the worst luck ever, and is already out. Sports are cruel.
  • It’s not exclusive to soccer, but I love when players crowd the ref and start yelling at him after he makes a call they don’t like as if that will change anything. One day he’ll change the call, guys, keep trying!
  • Ronaldo just missed a penalty so, buy law, Messi is the G.O.A.T. again.
  • Exciting win for Germany and they’ll obviously wind up advancing, but this team has Quarterfinal exit written all over it.
  • It’s funny how, considering the likely bracket, Belgium and England would choke by winning their matchup, as opposed to their preferred methods of choking, losing to inferior opponents/losing in penalties. Sometimes you just can’t have it your way.
  • Folks, I can’t understand it, but some players are still flopping. I’m just as surprised as all of you.
  • When Xherdan Shaqiri scores a last second goal that likely clinches your spot in the Round of 16.
  • I’m surprised Ronaldo was able to score a goal when this man was patrolling the opposite sideline.Guess he just needed to establish his dominance. Although I’m not sure the perfectly maintained Cristiano Ronaldo can compete with Hervé Renard’s rugged handsomeness. He looks like he could give a dissertation on regional wine varieties while simultaneously captaining a sailboat while somehow also tilling the land on his olive farm. I’d ask what cologne he uses but I know his own natural musk is aphrodisiac enough.
  • I know this is Ronaldo heavy but I can’t help it. He’s lucky (i.e., FIFA just pulled a Stern to make sure he didn’t get suspended) he didn’t get a red for his high elbow.
  • I said I liked VAR but I think I might be out. It’s good that it happens so short, but if you never use it or just ignore blatant errors without going back to fix them what’s the point?
  • I’m out on Spain. They seem so mentally fragile. When Diego Costa is holding your team together with a cool head that’s a bad sign.
  • I would never paint my face to go to a game if I wasn’t 10000000000% I was going to like the outcome. Can’t be caught being sad face paint guy.

Think that’s all I have for now. This World Cup has been pretty darn good so far, and should only get better. Here’s hoping for another three weeks of greatness.

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