BREAKING: Todd Frazier, Major League Baseball Player, Once Played Little League Baseball

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Absolutely astonishing news has just crossed the Brian’s Den News Desk. The kind of news that shakes the very fabric of society. I can assure you, you’ll forever remember when and where you first heard this. I’m sorry in advance for shattering your entire world view, but I’ve just learned that Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series.

As startling as it may seem, it is indeed true. Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series. I can barely believe it, myself. Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series. To think that someone who performs at the highest level of his profession started playing early in life is crazy enough, but that a future Major League Baseball player would be considerably better than his young peers? Excuse me? What a story. Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series.

For those who don’t know (count me among them, because everything about this story is blowing my mind), the Little League World Series is played in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Last night MLB had their Little League Classic, which is also played in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. The Mets played in this game. Todd Frazier is on the Mets. Unbeknownst to me, this was not the first time Todd Frazier had played a baseball game in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series, which is a fact I’m still trying to wrap my head around.

Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series for Toms River, New Jersey, which, in the cosmic sense of things, is close to New York City, the city in which he currently plays. The story keeps getting stranger, but stick with me for a moment. Last season, he played for the Yankees, who also play in New York City. After playing in the Little League World Series for Toms River, New Jersey, Todd Frazer got to meet the Yankees, particularly Derek Jeter. There’s photo evidence to prove it to the all the doubting Thomases out there who share my struggles in believing such an outlandish story:

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I just can’t believe something like this escaped my knowledge for so long. I mean, I’m a pretty plugged-in guy. Nary a minor sports storyline goes unnoticed in the Brian’s Den, and yet, here we are. It’s August 20th, 2018, and I just learned that Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series. I guess it’s true what they say: you’re never too old to learn that Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series.

(It should go without saying, but I’m very triggered right now and that I hope Todd Frazier dies an excruciating death because this is my least favorite sports story of all time. WE KNOW TODD FRAZIER PLAYED IN THE LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES!!!! WE’VE KNOWN FOR 20 YEARS, NOW!!!!! STOP ACTING LIKE THIS IS BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! EVERY TIME TODD FRAZIER’S STUPID FACE IS PUT ON TELEVISION THEY HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO US HOW HE PLAYED IN THE LITTLE LEAGUE WORLD SERIES. WE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOMS RIVER, NEW JERSEY IS A COMPLETE DUMP AND NOTHING GOOD HAS EVER COME OUT OF THERE, INCLUDING TODD FRAZIER’S UGLY-ASS SWING. TODD FRAZIER IS SINGLEHANDEDLY TRYING TO RUIN THE GAME OF BASEBALL FOR EVERYONE. But it’s okay, though, because he played in the Little League World Series.)

Me when someone asks if I knew Todd Frazier played in the Little League World Series:

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