Monday Thoughts Week 10

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It’s rare that a week of games lives up to expectation. Meets all the hype. Leaves you totally satisfied. This was one of those weeks. On Friday I said this was the worst schedule of games of all time. It was exactly that. A week that would make most fans question why they cared about this sport, this only deepened my love for the NFL because it proved that my finger was firmly on the pulse of the league. Stupid, I know. This is a very, very subpar edition of Monday Thoughts™.

  • Have to start with the absurd cancellation of the game in Nashville today. The weather wasn’t even that bad! Can’t believe they just decided to call the game off. This is the third time the league’s cancelled a Patriots game this year, have to think there’s a larger conspiracy at work.
  • Listen, I’m not being hyperbolic, here. This week was complete ass. There was one (1) compelling game all day, and only three games with a one-score final margin. The most exciting thing that happened all day was when I got my hands on some McDonald’s. So, yeah, forgive if I don’t devote a lot of time to this one.
  • Allow me to be the 100th person to make a Josh McCown-No Nut November joke. I know these witticisms are what you all come for (oh!).
  • Such a weird Bills season. How do they have three wins?
  • Free tip- don’t give yourself the nickname Showman if no one knows who you are
  • Covering the week’s biggest spread just unlocked another letter. Congrats to the Car*****s.
  • I respect Arizona for not even trying to guard Tyreek Hill
  • I should have moved to Kansas City
  • This might not even be one of the ten worst throws of the day
  • Falcons are dead again and Baker Mayfield is good again.
  • Nice defense, fellas!
  • The haters will say brown jerseys with orange pants and brown socks is a tough look. True aficionados know that this bold, avant garde combination takes a level of panache and aplomb to reach its full potential, and Baker has that in spades.
  • I, for one, am thoroughly enjoying this Jags free fall.
  • Leonard Fournette got 53 yards on 24 carries and I’m pretty sure that drastically improved his career YPC.
  • Sick TD, though
  • Thought Eric Ebron would redefine the tight end position when he was drafted, but at least he got a highlight TD!
  • Lions are deader than dead.
  • Your boy Mitchy T loves to shred bad defenses.
  • Every time I think I’m out on him he plays really well against a bad team and makes me forget he kind of sucks.
  • Even in a week where I’m not really trying, you know we had to check in:
  • Mad Max Lion because Detroit is just a post-apocalyptic wasteland? They said it, not me (I also don’t think they understand what the phrase “secure the bag” means).
  • Did Redskins-Bucs actually happen? I don’t think it did.
  • Saints are good.
  • I could post all 100 of the Saints’ touchdowns today, but instead I’ll just post this relevant clip:
  • Many people are saying the Saints are now the best team in the league, and I might be more inclined to agree if their defense was a skosh sturdier. Still, I think they have to be the current favorites to come out of the NFC. I’m thinking there might be a random champion this year, though. Some 9-7 horseshit Super Bowl winner or something.
  • This isn’t even schtick or laziness but I honestly think I blacked out and missed the entirety of Chargers-Raiders and Dolphins-Packers. Just preposterously boring games.
  • Although on closer inspection of the box score it appears that Frank Gore is still pretty decent? How???
  • Seahawks and Rams are destined to always have the one that isn’t good give the one that is good trouble for eternity. I swear the crappy Jeff Fisher Rams were the only teams that could consistently beat the Legion of Boom.
  • Rams honestly should have scored 70. They were doing whatever they wanted the entire game.
  • Floyd legitimately looks like a little boy
  • Aaron Donald already has a career high in sacks
  • Imagine getting hit by Donald and Suh at the same time
  • I’m just guessing but I’m assuming the Rams are undefeated when using these jerseys as throwbacks.
  • Alright, I admit it: Cowboys-Eagles was better than I thought it would be. That’s all you’ll get from me, though.
  • Just an awful pass
  • Time for Foles?
  • I’ve decided I hate Leighton Vander Esch. I hate his name, I hate his neckroll, I hate his farmboy hick backstory, I hate his face and steroid neck
  • Hey, Leighton, I know you think you’re cool, but you’re just an 80s bully with a stupid name, I’m not afraid of you. You went to a school that only had two girls ever enter it, what does it think it is, my room? Let me know when you figure out what 2+2 equals, bro. Loser.
  • Next week will be better by default. Worry not.

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