Monday Thoughts Week 16


Folks, I have a confession to make on this Christmas Eve: I didn’t really get to watch any of the games. Sorry. I’m most disappointed in myself, really. I was traveling back to Mother Vermont for Christmas and was shocked to discover that my Amtrak train’s WiFi was actually the worst thing of all time. Believe me, it caught me off guard. As such, I don’t really have a lot of Monday Thoughts™. I’m not in the business of coming up with takes after-the-fact once I look at the boxscore and highlights. The Monday Thoughts™ you’ve come to know and love are baked fresh during the games. I’d feel disingenuous putting out a full version in this state. I won’t abandon you completely, however. Here is a very, very truncated edition of Monday Thoughts™.

  • I’m back in on the Pats. Got the bye back, could theoretically get the 1 seed, the rest of the AFC looks like trash. Who wants to play the Pats in the playoffs? Nobody. The Pats are everyone’s boogeyman, and they don’t die until they’re 1,000,000% dead. Super Bowl back on.
  • Christian McCaffrey is having the year I was hoping Alvin Kamara was going to have at the beginning of the year. Over 1,000 yards rushing and up to 106 catches, a new record for a running back. Barring a huge game he’s also going to join one of my favorite clubs- guys with over 100 receptions and less than 1,000 receiving yards. Surprisingly, he’ll be the first white member.
  • I admit that I didn’t really have a full grasp of the playoff picture when I wrote my picks this week. I said there probably wasn’t a way both the Colts and Ravens made the playoffs, but not only is it entirely possible, they might both go in as division winners.
  • Can’t wrap my mind around the fact that the Titans not only could make the playoffs, but could win the division. How did we allow this?
  • I thinking I’m starting to like Sam Darnold.
  • Don’t know why the Jags would consider winning another game.
  • Nick Foles is real, man. Like, I have no idea what the Eagles do if they make the playoffs. Or if they make another run? They have to keep him. It’s a complete absurdity that the team is better with Foles than Carson Wentz (who I think everyone would agree is the better individual player), but they are. It’s just the magic of having a huge penis, I guess.
  • Texans are officially dead as a title contender.
  • I don’t want the Vikings in the playoffs and nothing you say will change my mind.
  • Got to check in regardless of the cicustances
  • Looks like a Scooby-Doo villain.
  • I know everyone’s wondering and I went 0-2 in my fantasy finals. All I’m going to say is that the Rams as an organization are totally dead to me forever.
  • Steelers…ummm, yikes.
  • I can’t decide if it’d be funnier if the Steelers made the playoffs and lost to the Pats again or if they missed the playoffs. I think missed.
  • Like, you call this with the game on the line?
  • AB and JuJu became the fifth 100 catch duo in league history, at least.
  • Michael Thomas has a chance to put up one of the five highest single season reception totals this year and it feels like no one’s talking about it.
  • I love dropkicks
  • Patrick Mahomes and Russell Wilson are the Spider-Man pointing meme
  • Only a few more chances to capitalize on this deal
  • Chiefs are now 0-4 in their four biggest games. Not saying, but just saying.
  • If the Raiders somehow win in KC and the Chargers blow it against the Broncos, guess who’s back on top in the AFC? I’ll give you one guess…

That’s all you get today. It’s Christmas Eve and I don’t want to do any work. At least we’ve got Raiders-Broncos tonight. A true early Christmas gift if I’ve ever seen one.

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