Monday Thoughts, Week 7


Yesterday was Sunday. There were NFL games played. That means there are Monday Thoughtsβ„’ today. Follow? Good.

  • Titans played the Chargers in London at 9:30 am. I did not watch it. I forgot it was happening. The world keeps spinning.
  • Serious question: is Marcus Mariota the first Hawaiian to ever set foot in the UK?
  • Titans have good Twitter graphics
  • I would die for Mike Vrabel
  • Glad lifelong Chargers fan Michael Essien made it out to the game!
  • Tyrell Williams is officially hot
  • The fact that Marcus Mariota, the bastion of quarterback lower-mediocrity, had yet to throw a red zone interception in his career to this point is simply preposterous
  • How confused do you think the good people of London were when the Titans went for two at the end instead of tying the game? Why pass up the chance to get a result, am I right? Because soccer.
  • Going for two was the right decision, it was just a bad playcall. Chargers are considerably better than the Titans, going to overtime wouldn’t have changed that. Try to steal a win.
  • Bills-Colts was a football game played under NFL regulations. This is a fact.
  • Nathan Peterman warming up and not coming in is a crime against humanity.
  • Obligatory:
  • Browns should realistically be 1-1-5.
  • Myles Garrett is large
  • One day Jarvis Landry will be on a good team
  • I miss Fitzpatrick.
  • One of the most shocking field goals I’ve ever seen. Still can’t believe he made it
  • Some franchises are destined to have the worst kickers ever. Browns and Bucs are two of them.
  • You knew I was looking forward to this: what did the Bears’ Twitter account cook up for the Pats?
  • Revolutionary Ringwraith? I’m in. This should be the new logo, honestly. Way cooler than what they gave the Dolphins.
  • I don’t know when Mitch Trubisky became Mike Vick, but I didn’t appreciate it
  • The Cordarrelle Patterson experience:
  • Getting a punt blocked has to be the worst feeling in the world
  • Only the computer when you’re playing on All-Madden makes this pick:
  • Josh Gordon is the slowest fast person of all time
  • Pats get to play the Bills next week. This pleases me.
  • Did this Lions-Dolphins game actually happen? My sources are telling me it did, but I’m skeptical.
  • I guess this counts as evidence
  • Stafford went 18/22 and Kerryon Johnson had 158 yards? I said this in my picks, but if you’re the Dolphins how can you let a bunch of carpetbaggers from icy Detroit come into South Beach and dominate. What would Pitbull think?
  • So, like, are weΒ sure the Eagles are still good? Are we positive Carson Wentz is the future of professional athletics?
  • Games like this are why I’ll always give Cam and the Panthers the benefit of the doubt. They’re just mentally tougher than 99% of the league. Unless there’s a lose ball with the Super Bowl on the line.
  • It seems bad that the Super Bowl champions lost a game when this was tweeted out:
  • Feel like no one runs reverses anymore. Everyone’s too concerned with the jet-sweep-flip-that-counts-as-a-pass now
  • This has to sting:
  • But, hey, the Eagles are having fun out there! That’s all that really matters, right Lane Johnson?
  • Speaking of teams that are definitely having fun, how about your AFC runners-up, the Jacksonville Jaguars? They’re definitely breaking through this year, I can feel it!
  • Jags D will get a lot of heat because they keep getting blown out, they should be one of the best units in the NFL, and they all hate each other and love talking about it, but this really wasn’t their fault. Holding a team to 20 points should be enough for a supposedly good team to win in 2018.
  • Who got beat on this play? I can’t tell
  • R.I.P. people of Houston, part 2,000,000
  • Is this good?
  • Jets are continuing an encouraging trend of teams wearing their Color Rush jerseys on days other than Thursday.Surprisingly, this lead to a blowout loss, not a win. I don’t get it, either.
  • Sam Darnold stinks again. It’s almost as if rookie QBs go through ups and downs, or something.
  • Adam Thielen’s just the best receiver in the league now
  • No one gets there earlier, leaves later, or has a coach-ier father.
  • This might be a storyline I’ve created in my mind, but people are sleeping on the Vikings because they stumbled out of the gate. They’re the second best team in the NFC.
  • One of these days, Joe Flacco’s gonna run a route on one of these Lamar Jackson plays.
  • Call me crazy, but wouldn’t it make more sense to, you know, take Flacco out of the game if you’re putting Lamar in? Wouldn’t you rather have another skill guy or another blocker or another anything over Flacco just standing on the side? What’s the point? To set up that trick play you’ve been waiting for? Flacco gives so little effort on these things that the second he exerts himself even a little the defense will know something’s about to happen. Just seems like a big waste of time.
  • But, hey, got a one yard TD so it’s all worth it!
  • Drew Brees 500 TDs
  • Nothing really happened in this game until, of course, Justin Tucker’s dramatic missed extra point
  • Payback for that kick he “made” against the Pats in 2012 that didn’t actually go in but John Harbaugh bullied the refs into calling good.
  • When someone tells you Carreras was actually the best of the Three Tenorsjustin-tucker-miss-832x447
  • Cowboys-Redskins sucked so I’ll give you the CliffsNotes version of every Cowboys division game ever: nothing happened and everyone hated it but it ended with some stupid, fake, overly minute, manufactured controversy that will be debated to no end, proving that the Agenda-Setting Theory is correct (it’s not often I can pull out something from my college education, so savor it).
  • Redskins 3rd-string tight end is named Jeremy Sprinkle. Making the NFL with the last name Sprinkle is one of the most impressive feats in the history of Western Civilization.
  • Rams-49ers was the least competitive non-Bills game of the year, but at least the jerseys looked good
  • Aaron Donald four sacks. GOAT
  • Todd Gurley has taken up permanent residence in the endzone
  • Over the last two seasons Gurley has 33 TDs. Julio Jones has 43 career TDs. Can Gurley’s two-season run eclipse Julio’s entire career? I’d say it will by week 12.
  • Now THAT was a Bengals prime time game.
  • Sick catch, though
  • Bengals also “forced” the worst throw of Mahomes’ career
  • Unfortunately Mason Screck had to be carted off with injury. He was the only fun thing remaining on the Bengals’ roster.
  • Get it? It’s anΒ Office reference! They’re so rare online these days
  • Decent run
  • Big Macs for Sacks is the polar opposite of the Texans’ Jack in the Box promotion
  • Vintage Al
  • When you know the Halloween edition of NFL Picks is coming on Friday

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: