Upgrade Review

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Think it’s about time I let a computer chip take over my life.

Rating: 💻💻💻💻💻💻💻💻

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Boban Marjanovic Added to the Cast of John Wick 3

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source– Los Angeles Clippers center Boban Marjanović has joined the cast of John Wick: Chapter 3, multiple sources have told Collider.

Representatives for Lionsgate and Marjanović did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Chad Stahelski returns to direct the sure-to-be action-packed sequel, which will feature the Serbian basketball star as an assassin, according to sources. His gigantic hands could end up posing a problem for our badass hero. Marjanović stands an imposing 7 feet, 3 inches, and he previously played for the San Antonio Spurs and the Detroit Pistons.

Alright, I’m trying not to overreact, here. I really am. But John Wick 3 is going to be the greatest movie ever made. It literally can’t fail. They already added Halle Berry, Jason Mantzoukas, and beast Hiroyuki Sanada to the star-studded Wickverse. But now the spiritual successor to Andre the Giant? Dear lord.

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I’m a known Wick stan. Before I saw John Wick 2, I ranked John Wick as the third best action movie character of all time. I never updated my list on here, but believe me, I’ve got a running list. And J-Wick is making a run at the McClane crown, which I thought was impossible. And if he can take down Boban? We might have to start a serious dialogue about who the GOAT is.

Boban was born for this. I honestly can’t believe this hasn’t happened sooner. He’s got the look, he’s got the personality, he’s got the star power. He was destined to be a lead henchman/bodyguard/intimidating assassin/giant with a heart of gold. This is a potential film goldmine, and it’s really no surprise that the John Wick team is who discovered it. It doesn’t even matter if he’s a good actor or not. Just stand there and be Boban and it’s a home run. The only concern would be that he’s too nice, but if you just show him some footage of kittens and puppies being abused and tell him John Wick did it, I think it’ll work out fine.

So now the question is how is Boban used, here? We know John’s on the run from the Continental and the entire assassin world, so is Boban friend or foe? I think the easy reaction is to assume he’ll be a bit character used to show the diverse assassin pool and he’ll get quickly eliminated, but I think that’d be a waste. I think Boban starts off coming for John’s head, but after chasing him through some presumably Eastern European backstreets, develops a level of respect and the two form a deep bond. We’ve seen One-Man-Army John Wick before (and it always plays), but how about buddy cop John Wick? Wick and Boban going back-to-back, facing down an army of assassins, then taking out the trash (I’m not worldly enough to know the state of European streets, but I’m going to assume they’re a little cleaner than New York City streets, which are filthy. Yes, I do live in New York City, how did you know? Why yes, that does make me better than you) (Sorry, I’m trying to develop my superiority complex now that I’ve been here a couple months) (The streets are bad, though. I’ve already been desensitized to seeing used condoms on the sidewalk). That’s what I want to see. Then when Keanu wants to hang up the black suit? Boban’s there to assume the mantle and keep the franchise going. Sure, he’d use a more physical, less poetic fighting style, but you can work with that. Maybe ratchet up the comedy and somehow increase the absurdity. Boban Wick makes at least $500 million, you can’t tell me otherwise. I can see the vision, here, and I pity anyone who can’t. Now someone go out and get a extra large shipment of No. 2 Ticonderogas.

Why Hasn’t BD Wong Aged in the Last 25 Years?

Alright I know this is random but I just saw Avengers again so I was forced to watch the Jurassic World 2 trailer for the millionth time.

And I just couldn’t stop thinking about how BD Wong hasn’t aged since Jurassic Park. This is him in 1993:

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And this is him now:

Arrivals at Jurassic World - LA film premiere held on Tuesday, June 9, 2015 at The Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles, California

What the heck? He looks younger now than he did in the 90s! Talk about a glow up. I can’t wrap my mind around this. I know Black don’t Crack, but does the same thing apply to Asians? Or does a good haircut really make all the difference? Or is it just really good to be rich and have access to the Hollywood beauty cabal? Probably the latter. I don’t know, that’s kind of all I have on this. Just a random thing I needed to throw out there.

People forget BD Wong voiced Shang in Mulan but got tagged out for Donny Osmond when it was time to sing.