Month: April 2018

2018 NFL Draft Preview

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Remember football? Remember the NFL? Remember the Super Bowl? I don’t. It happened so long ago I don’t even remember who the two teams were. Must have been a pretty boring game. Since it’s been roughly three years since the season ended, you know what that means- it’s time for the NFL Draft! Everyone’s (my) favorite way to spend 18 hours over the course of three days. While I’m afraid my typical wall to wall viewing experience will be interrupted this year (Avengers tomorrow night, bitchesssssss! Let’sss goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Also doing something special on Saturday), I’ll still watch the first round without distraction, which means it’s time to dive headfirst into this year’s draft class. So dust off your DVD of Draft Day and get settled in, it’s gonna be a long night.

Guys I Like

  • Baker Mayfield- I’d be so upset if he went to the Jets. Not because I’d be worried, but because I know they’d ruin him.
  • Lamar Jackson- He’s pretty much Hermes if Hermes was real and played football and was also being criminally undervalued.
  • Quenton Nelson- The most foolproof player in the draft, which means he’ll be a huge bust.
  • Bradley Chubb- Feels like the defensive version of Nelson. Can’t see him failing.
  • Derwin James- Before the year he was a consensus top-5 pick, and now he’s dropping because his team had a bad year? I’ll gladly take him on my team.
  • Roquon Smith- I have literally no data to back this up, but I feel like linebackers have a much higher success rate than most positions.
  • Denzel Ward- Can he match last year’s crazy rookie corner production? I think so.
  • Josh Rosen- The ultimate victim of too-much-predraft-analysis, I’m still on the Rosen train.
  • Vita Vea- I just like his hair.
  • Jaryd Jones-Smith- Did I just make him up or is he a real person? Tune in to find out.
  • Sony Michell- Could easily see him dipping his toes into the “so underrated he’s overrated” pool.
  • Brian Curran- Guy’s a winner, plain and simple.

Guys I Don’t Like

  • Josh Allen- How many times have we seen this movie before? And teams still fall for it. He’s going to S U C K.
  • Sam Darnold- Guy stinks.
  • Saquon Barkley- Purely from a value standpoint. He’s a physical freak, but so are Kareem Hunt and Alvin Kamara. And they went in the third round.
  • Marcus Davenport- When the last time a project d-end taken in the first round actually worked?
  • Calvin Ridley- I think he’s like, 35 years old.
  • Vontae Mack- His tweets are a little too distracting for my taste.
  • Kolton Miller- Such an aggressively white millennial name.
  • Natrell Jamerson- Another round of real or fake?
  • Isaiah Wynn- Just kind of picked a name.
  • Mason Rudolph- We really saying he’s good?

Guys I Want the Patriots to Draft

  • Lamar Jackson
  • Lamar Jackson
  • Lamar Jackson
  • Lamar Jackson
  • Lamar Jackson

Guys I Don’t Want the Patriots to Draft

  • Random offensive linemen who aren’t Lamar Jackson
  • Literally anyone not named Lamar Jackson

Things I’m Thinking About Eating Tonight

  • Pizza
  • McDonald’s
  • Wings
  • The chicken fajitas I was gonna cook last night but there was a mix up with the gas company and our gas was turned off so if they fix it I could just cook tonight but it’s Draft Day, so why bother?
  • Taco Bell
  • These drunken noodles from this Thai place that I’m kind of addicted to.
  • A ton of snacks

Best Things About the Movie Draft Day

  • Sonny Weaver trading three first round picks for the number one overall pick, despite the fact that he admits seconds later that he knows nothing about the presumed number one overall pick.
  • The fact that the supposed superstar coach is dead set on taking a running back in the top ten.
  • A Wisconsin QB is the top prospect.
  • The way the trainer let’s you know the Browns have a star receiver by telling the GM of the team that he’s a star wide receiver.
  • That literally no one on the team went to Bo Callahan’s birthday party.
  • The pregnancy and ashes subplots.
  • The fact that an undersized linebacker would go number one in 2014.
  • The fact that the Seahawks got worked over worse than anyone in history has ever been worked over.
  • That a running back, a linebacker, and a punt returner was what convinced Coach Penn to stay, despite the fact that they still had Brian Hoyer Drew at QB.
  • The fact that Ray Jenkins was excited to go to the Browns.

Teams That Will Definitely Have Good Drafts

  • Cardinals
  • Ravens
  • Panthers
  • Bengals
  • Cowboys
  • Lions
  • Texans
  • Jaguars
  • Chargers
  • Dolphins
  • Patriots
  • Giants
  • Raiders
  • Steelers
  • Seahawks
  • Titans

Teams That Will Definitely Have Bad Drafts

  • Falcons
  • Bills
  • Bears
  • Browns
  • Broncos
  • Packers
  • Colts
  • Chiefs
  • Rams
  • Vikings
  • Saints
  • Jets
  • Eagles
  • 49ers
  • Bucs
  • Redskins

Things to Do When It’s the Sixth Round and You Want to Stop Watching But You Can’t

  • Try and find the next Tom Brady.
  • Convince yourself that guard out of Howard is actually the steal of the draft.
  • See if you can match Mel Kiper’s no-bathroom-breaks record.
  • Think about finding more friends/hobbies.
  • Become fluent in Mike Mayock-isms.
  • Wonder where, if things just broke a little bit better for you, you would have been drafted.
  • Get way too hyped for a season in which your team won’t win anything.

Which Avengers Would Make It in the NFL?

  • Literally all of them.

Why Hasn’t There Been Another Pokemon Football Draft?

  • Because I forgot about it until right now and it’s too much work to get it done before the draft.
  • I should do round three, though. Third Gen is probably the most top end talent of any class.

On A Scale of 1-10, How Hyped Are You For the 2018 NFL Draft?

  • 12

Streaming God of War After the Celtics Game

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Getting into the nitty-gritty of God of War tonight. Should be a lot of action, gore, and death. Typical Tuesday. Going live after the Celtics win Game 5, roughly 9:30-10. Tune in.

https://www.twitch.tv/jarringtiger

All my past streams are on my channel, as well, if you want to relive everything. I’ve been doing a ton of random streams, so odds are you’ve missed something.

My Experience at MLB Foodfest

Two hours of pure concessions and drinks for $40. Not a bad way to take ten years off your life.

I was obviously excited about this, but I wish I could go back and do it over. Not to spoil the video, but I was only able to eat 25 of the 30 entries, partly because of the time (they screw you out of at least five minutes because they don’t let anyone in until your time slot starts, but then you have to leave the second your time slot ends. Factor in lines and stuff and I didn’t get my first plate until 1:09. Sad!), and partly because I did the exact incorrect strategy. Essentially, it was a big horseshoe around the perimeter of the dining room with the booths arranged in alphabetical order by city. I started with Washington and went in a circle, both because I wanted to eat the Arizona entry last and because it was closest to the door. This was the incorrect strategy. The bottom half of the alphabet was far, far superior to the top half. If Foodfest was the NBA, N-W was the West and A-M was the East. Absolutely no contest. So while it was nice to actually enjoy all the good food, that meant I had to eat the disgusting things on a full stomach. Not a good combination. I almost puked on camera two or three times, and, had I gotten whatever the Indians thing was, I know for a fact there would have been a reversal of fortune. You can get on me for getting full off of 25 bites (another bad strategy: I took multiple bites of some of the early food because, again, it was actually good) if you want, but 95% of those things were bread heavy. And the buns were all thick, too. Too thick, if you ask me. It didn’t make for a fun morning, I can assure you.

So I missed five teams: Tigers, Indians, Rockies, White Sox, Braves. As I said, the Indians Flamin’ Hot Cheeto abomination would have made me puke. The Tigers had chicken shawarma nachos, which seemed like a very bad thing to eat at 2:45. I actually had the Braves thing, which I don’t even know how to describe, in my hand, but once I got through the absolutely brutal Red Sox-Orioles combo, I couldn’t do it. I blame the coleslaw.  Coleslaw stinks and half the teams used it as a garnish. The Rockies and White Sox weren’t high priorities since they just had a regular cheeseburger and sausage, respectively, and I’ve had my fair share of both. The only sad thing is that I’m sure both were pretty good and I ate a Cheeto-lote instead. By the way, how to the Rockies not bring Rocky Mountain Oysters? I guess they figure everyone already knows the rating on them already.

Anyway, it was a good time. I hope they do it again next year (I’m sure they will), and hopefully other leagues get in the game, too. Now that I know to eat the horrifying and repulsive foods first, I think future Foodfests will be more enjoyable. Still can’t believe the Sox didn’t come with the hot lobster roll.

MLB Foodfest is Today

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It’s finally here. MLB Foodfest. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this my whole life. Two hours of stuffing your face with ballpark food without the hassle of going to an actual ballpark. I may have died and gone to heaven. My time slot is 1-3pm. Will there be a video of me reviewing all 30 items? You bet your ass. Will there be Snapchat (briancurran11) and Instagram (@briansden69) story updates? Yes. Will I eat something I regret? Without question. This is going to be epic.

Now that I think about it, MLB really dropped the ball not having this on 4/20.

As for what I know you’re all really here for, yes, going to the festival will cut down on my God of War streaming today. I’ll probably hop on later tonight as I digest, so be on the lookout. If you need a fix, here’s the full streams from yesterday, when I messed around and did two separate sessions.

https://player.twitch.tv/?autoplay=false&video=v252844613Watch Brian Plays God of War pt. 1 from JarringTiger on www.twitch.tv

https://player.twitch.tv/?autoplay=false&video=v252963933Watch Brian Plays God of War pt. 2 from JarringTiger on www.twitch.tv

Streaming God of War Last Night Was So Much Fun, I’m Doing it Again This Morning

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Missed my stream from last night? Well, fret not. Here’s the full video:
https://player.twitch.tv/?autoplay=false&video=v252608764Watch JarringTiger’s Live PS4 Broadcast from JarringTiger on www.twitch.tv

Did that leave you wanting more? Well, you’re in luck! I’m hoping on the ol’ Twitch machine at 10 am, so come along for the ride.

https://www.twitch.tv/jarringtiger

Again, going live at 10 am. Join me, or else.

We’re Going Live in God of War.

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Folks, at long last I’ve got my hands on God of War. Apparently I’m the last UPS stop in the world. Literally every package in the world was delivered before mine was. Whatever, not like I was hoping to get it multiple hours ago or anything.

Anyway, I’m starting up now. After much deliberation, I’ve decided to stream on Twitch, not YouTube. I finally figured out the very basic and rudimentary procedure for saving videos, so we’re gucci. If you don’t have a Twitch account I’m pretty sure you can still watch, but, let’s be honest. Anyone who was going to watch this probably already had a Twitch account already. So, just follow this link:

https://www.twitch.tv/jarringtiger

It’s under the username JarringTiger not Brian’s Den because JarringTiger is my gamertag. Why? Because when I first got Xbox Live like ten years ago I didn’t know what to call myself and that was one of the suggested names and I thought it was kind of funny. I’ll post the full recap vid for anyone who, for some reason, doesn’t want to spend Friday evening/night/Saturday morning watching me play God of War.