Category: NBA

So, I guess my last Celtics post didn’t go according to plan, huh? Losing both games in Washington by a combined 300 points is bad. Giving up 1,000-0 runs every single game is bad, and I think they should do something to stop it from happening. They looked like they were playing dead to try and trick an attacking mother grizzly. But, am I worried? Not really. They can’t win in Washington, big deal. Washington can’t win in Boston, either. Now, the way they lost both games was certainly a little troubling. Literally no one played well. The only way they can go is up. And, there’s just no place for worrying in this series. If the Celtics lose at home, it’s over. Plain and simple. The state of the Panic Button will never even be debated on sports talk radio. The series is already over in my head, anyway. Nothing about the first two games (besides the 20-0 starts) said the Wizards can win in Boston. Nothing about the last two games said the Celtics could win in Washington. It turns out there’s more games in Boston than Washington. And if the Wizards steal one in Boston? Well, the lottery’s next week (Of course, in the grand scheme of things, worrying about this series is also pointless because whoever wins is just going to get brushed aside by the inevitable, unavoidable, inescapable Cavs-Warriors Round 3) (LeBron is at a completely different level than anyone else in the league right now. He just keeps getting better physically the older he gets. Hmm…). Before the season, I considered making the Conference Finals to be a realistic goal for this Celtics team. Now, I would still be disappointed if they got knocked out by the Wizards, who have come out of nowhere and become my least favorite team, but at this point all I want is for them not to screw up this offseason. Losing here would save a lot of embarrassment next round, anyway.

The 2008 Celtics team has been on my mind recently, too. Starting with the obvious, allow me to be the 1,000,000th person to compare this series to that Celtics team’s first round (really, first two rounds, but no one remembers that for some reason) against the Hawks, when they couldn’t win in Atlanta for some reason. Zaza was staring down KG every play. Josh Smith was dunking on everyone. Joe Johnson was iso-ing at 15 mph instead of his current 5 mph. But then the Celtics won by a million in game 7. Will that happen this year? It’s hard to say. But probably. They also brought the band back together for KG’s Area 21, which should be uncensored at all times. It was great. They talked Celtics, bashed every other team in the league, made fun of Paul Pierce for The Wheelchair, Perk was somehow making the most sense and breaking news:

“They’re back on talking terms… -Kendrick Perkins discusses Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook relationship on #KGArea21 pic.twitter.com/wsUmpnhxqi

— KG’s Area 21 (@KGArea21) May 9, 2017

I highly recommend going to the Area 21 twitter page and watching all the various clips if you’re a Celtics fan. But the most important thing they talk about, mostly because it still drives KG’s and Rondo’s very existence, was Ray Allen:

“It was more than basketball for us… It felt like a sour breakup.”

Pierce, KG, Rondo, Big Baby & Perk shared their thoughts on Ray Allen. pic.twitter.com/DjQKrFMxAT

— KG’s Area 21 (@KGArea21) May 9, 2017

I think it’s funny that everyone kind of rolls their eyes at the fact that they’re all still so bitter about how it ended, but then the same people can’t stop LOLing at all of Russell Westbrook’s antics this season. My thoughts? I can’t really blame Ray at the base level. Considering what I’ve said about Kevin Durant, that’d be pretty hypocritical. The two situations are almost identical. Yeah, it’s a huge bummer that he went to the Heat/Warriors, but I’m not going to get super mad about it. As a free agent, the player has the right to sign wherever he wants. Ray decided to do what was best for him, and it worked out for him. Maybe it’s because he’s a fellow UConn Husky and I’m going easy on him, but my animosity towards Ray has lessened every passing year. But, obviously, I wasn’t on the actual team. He could have handled his free agency better, but I think it’s time for KG and the boys to move on. I rip on Westbrook for handling KD leaving like a toddler who had his toy taken away, so it’s only fair I say the same to my guys. I mean, Ray left in 2012. The run was over. They won one title and should have won two. It was an awesome team but everyone was old. Ray could still contribute as a role player to a LeBron-led Heat team. It made sense for him to go there. It happens. It’s not 1963 anymore. Teams break up. Players leave. It’s okay. Yeah, Ray was kind of a dick about it, but it’s time to bury the hatchet.

The Celtics were never going to win the Championship this year. Anyone who thought they had any chance in today’s NBA landscape is a fool. Anyone who thought they should mortgage the future to try and “win-now” is also a fool. They’re not beating Cleveland with Jimmy Butler. They’re not beating Cleveland with a few months of Paul George. And they’re certainly not beating Cleveland by trading one of the Nets picks for half a season of Serge Ibaka. People thought they should have given up a first round pick for Serge Ibaka! Are you serious? In this year’s draft class, would Ibaka be a top four pick? Hellllllllll, no. Besides the fact that DeMarcus Cousins and Nerlens Noel, two players they definitely could use, got moved for absolutely nothing, and the fact that they haven’t been able to rebound since 2010, keeping the assets at the deadline was the smart move. I was fine with however deep into the playoffs they went. Assuming they got out of the first round, that is.

The Celtics are about to become the first number one seed to ever get swept in the first round. They’ve been absolutely dominated by a crappy Bulls team that was the eight seed for a reason. Besides Isaiah Thomas, everyone should be ashamed of themselves. By the way, as someone who has been very harsh on Playoff Isaiah (comparing anyone to Playoff Kyle Lowry might have been the meanest thing I’ve ever written), if you come out of this postseason with anything but respect for Isaiah, something’s wrong with you. To have to deal with something like that and come back and play, let alone play well, is something not many people could do. Anyway, every weakness the Celtics have has been quickly exposed: they can’t rebound, they can’t defend the paint, they can’t really shoot, no one but Isaiah can score, and everyone’s (mostly Marcus Smart’s) shot selection has been horrible. They’re going to lose to the eight seed, and it’s going to be embarrassing. But again, I knew the Celtics weren’t winning the title. Besides the pain of losing in the first round, I don’t mind (that much) losing early to avoid getting let down later. What I’m worried about is GM Danny Ainge panicking and trying to change everything to win right away. Now that they won 53 games with an incomplete roster awaiting a star from the draft, might as well throw away that potential for draft success so you can trade for Andre Drummond, right? That’ll push them over the top! LeBron just had one of his best statistical seasons this year. He’s not going anywhere for a few years. It’s okay to let the team marinate organically until he’s gone. Considering the nature of Boston fans, a win-now move is going to be called for enthusiastically. The impatient rabble of Bostonians who are used to having one of the best teams in the league won’t be happy to sit and wait for young guys to develop. After all, Dave Dombrowski works in the same town. But it’s the right move. And I think Ainge is smart enough to realize it. The only problem is, he’s the worst drafter in the history of mankind.

It’s easy to say now, but they could have Giannis, Draymond Green, Nikola Jokic, Khris Middleton, and Jimmy Butler as a starting five. He traded up to get Kelly Olynyk. He passed on Draymond, Middleton, and Jae Crowder, who they traded for a mere two years later, so he could take Jared Sullinger and Fab Melo (R.I.P.) back to back. He took Marcus Smart, he of the under 30% career 3 point shooting percentage (but he plays good defense!) over Julius Randle, whose 9.4 career rebounds per game might help them right now, Zach LaVine, who was breaking out as a creative scorer before getting hurt this year, Jusuf Nurkic, who emerged as an interior force in the second half of the season, Rodney Hood, who can actually shoot 3s, and Nikola Jokic, who, to be fair, was an unknown Euro who fell to the second round. He took Terry Rozier, who stinks, over Bobby Portis, who is currently destroying the Celtics this series, then took R.J. Hunter over Montrezl Harrell and Willy Hernangomez, both of whom would be the best rebounder on the team. HE TOOK J.R. GIDDENS OVER DEANDRE JORDAN!!! It’s too early to judge this year’s draft class, but they sure could use the shooting Buddy Hield or Jamal Murray showed this season. That’s a horrible track record. It’s the worst carnage these eyes have ever seen. And I’m supposed to trust this man to make the most important draft decision in 20 years? On the off chance the Celtics don’t get screwed in the lottery, he’s probably going to take Isaiah Hartenstein number one overall. No one in the world loves anything more than Danny Ainge loves acting like he outsmarted everyone. He could have had the top pick in 2003 and would have taken Chris Kaman just because everyone would have expected him to take LeBron. The opportunity is going to be there to take Markelle Fultz, easily the best player in this class, and he’s going to pass on it because he’s an arrogant dumbass who would rather die than make the conventional pick. Literally nothing that has happened since the 2008 title tells me I should trust Danny Ainge in the draft. Avery Bradley is the only pick that unquestionably worked out. Every other first round pick either sucks or was taken before a franchise-altering player that could have them in position to maybe compete against LeBron one of these years. The Knicks and Nets both have better recent draft records than the Celtics, and the Nets haven’t had a pick since Lyndon B. Johnson was in office. No one in the world is worse at anything than Danny Ainge is at drafting good NBA players. But, hey, they have a lot of picks! It has to work out! Not with him calling the shots. Just let me make all the draft picks. I’ll only take the obvious guy, and if it doesn’t work out, history will be kind to me since I did the consensus thing. Not trade up to get an unathletic, short armed, white Canadian over Giannis Antetokounmpo, who is literally the exact opposite of that description. But whatever, at least the Red Sox are good.

Finally, we’ve reached the playoffs. The culmination of months of grinding, battling for seeding, chasing triple doubles, feuding, and some of the most impressive individual performances we’ve ever seen, but no one cares about the regular season, right? Just think, it’ll only be another six months of basketball before the inevitable Cavs-Warriors re-rematch. Just kidding, the playoffs are only five months long. Seems like only yesterday I was handing out the awards for the season, but now I’ve got to bring you my take on each playoff series, just because I care (a little tidbit I forgot to add when telling you why Russell Westbrook should not be MVP: according to OddsShark, the Thunder’s projected over-under for wins before the season was 43.5. The Rockets were at 41.5. But keep telling me how Westbrook is playing with a bunch of bums). Let’s jump right in, starting with the series that might take a few years off my life. If you think this format looks similar to my NHL Playoff Preview, you’re right. It’s the exact same. If it ain’t broke…

East

Boston Celtics vs. Chicago Bulls

On paper, this should be a mismatch. It’s the one seed vs. the eight seed. It’s a top 10 offense vs. a bottom 10 offense. It’s a team that can’t shoot 3’s against the second best team in the league defending the 3. It’s one of the three best coaches vs. a coach who garners no respect and has no control of the locker room. The only two things the Bulls have is the superior team defense and the best player in the series in Jimmy Butler. Every other rational advantage goes to the Celtics. But this series lives outside the rational. What happens if Playoff Rondo comes back? What if when he first steps onto that parquet floor in game 1 he gets a little of that juice back and starts dropping triple doubles left and right? What if he steals game 1 singlehandedly? What if he unnerves Isaiah just enough that Jimmy Butler is able to put him in his back pocket in crunch time? What if Dwyane Wade, arguably the worst 3 point shooter ever, randomly catches fire from 3, like he seemingly does every playoffs/every time he plays the Celtics? And, of course, there’s the inexplicable fact that the Bulls have won 20 straight games played on TNT. Three of the first four games are on TNT. I really don’t know how to feel about this Celtics postseason. I won’t care if they lose to the Cavs, but I’d be a little pissed if they lost to anyone else, especially the Raptors. They just have to get out of the first round. That’s the only thing I ask. Just please beat the Bulls. If you can.

Prediction: Celtics in 6

Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Indiana Pacers

I’m not sure we’ll even get the full Cavs playoff experience here, just because they won’t need it. The stats don’t really matter in this series. The Cavs have LeBron and the Pacers don’t. That’s all that matters in the first round. I’ll be interested to see how Paul George plays, though. He’ll either go balls to the wall and try and put the team on his back, leading to everyone saying “look at this guy he’s doing it all! Someone get him out of Indiana!” Or, he’s going to tank it so everyone goes “someone get this guy out of Indiana, he can’t compete with this roster!” Either way, I think he’s gone during the offseason.

Prediction: Cavs in 4

Toronto Raptors vs. Milwaukee Bucks

Despite the fact that it involves the Raptors, I’m actually excited to watch this series, mostly because I think these might be the two teams in the East that, in a perfect world where the NBA resembles March Madness, might have a chance of beating Cleveland. Neither will, but both might win a game or two and get my hopes up. Anyway, this is actually a pretty even matchup. Both teams are in the bottom ten in offensive pace and 3 pointers attempted per game, so those of you who pull up old clips of 90s basketball and hard fouls during your alone time will be in for a treat. The Raptors, despite their plodding pace and mid-range heavy approach, actually had the second best offense in the East by offensive efficiency. And it’s an imperfect statistic, but the Bucks were fourth in the league in field goal percentage. So both teams have efficient offenses, but where the Raptors were a top 10 team in defensive efficiency, the Bucks tied for 17th. The Raptors have the more complete team, but a lot of things favor the Bucks. They have by far the best player in the series Giannis Antetokounmpo, at worst the fourth best player in the series Khris Middleton, and, debatably, the fifth best player in the series Malcolm Brogdon. Greg Monroe could eat the Raptors second unit alive down low. The Raptors beat the Bucks 2 of the 3 times they met in the regular season, but Jabari Parker was still playing and Khris Middleton was still out for both Raptors wins. The Bucks win in March is the only game you can realistically draw anything from. Plus, Toronto’s best players struggle (to put it kindly) against size. The Bucks built their team based solely on size and length. These teams are almost perfect reflections of each other, only the Bucks are a funhouse mirror.

Prediction: Bucks in 7

Washington Wizards vs. Atlanta Hawks

Please, someone save from having to watch this series. This series is going to stiiiiiiiiiiink.  In an unforeseen development, the Hawks will extend their streak of playoff series played primarily on NBATV to 1,000,000 years in a row. I really hate Dwight Howard. Like, really really really hate. I can’t stand him. I hate his fake personality, I hate the way he completely destroyed the Magic, I hate his passive-agressive bullshit, I hate that, despite the fact that he is literally carved from granite and looks like he can rip a car in half with his bare hands, I feel like I could bully him, and I hate that he thinks he’s this refined post scorer who you have to keep feeding so he can pick defenses apart, when in reality his limited skills have only gone down and his refusal to embrace his role as a better DeAndre Jordan cost him at least four productive seasons. There’s a reason his teams always suck, and it’s him. I want him out of the league. I want him to have a career ending injury. I wouldn’t really mind if he died. I will always pick against Dwight. Especially when his team ranks 27th in offensive efficiency. 27th! Out of 30! All of Paul Millsap’s excellent defense is flushed down the drain when you build your offense around Denis Schroeder and Dwight Howard. John Wall might average 5 steals a game this series.

Prediction: Wizards in 5

West

Golden State Warriors vs. Portland Trailblazers

This series kind of bums me out because I like the Blazers and wish they weren’t just first round fodder for the Warriors. I feel so bad for Damian Lillard. He was just born at the wrong time. After getting snubbed yet again for the All Star Team, he averaged 29.7 points with .467/.413/.884 shooting splits. I mean, in a normal season, averaging 27, 6, and 5 with good percentages will get you some MVP talk. Now? He’s not even going to make an All-NBA team. Just a brutal time to be a point guard if you want any recognition.

Prediction: Warriors in 4

San Antonio Spurs vs. Memphis Grizzlies

It feels like these teams meet every year, and if this is anything like last year, this is going to be a mercifully short series. Despite Memphis finishing in the top half of the league in 3 pointers attempted per game, we pretty much know what we’re getting out of both these teams. It’s going to be slow, it’s going to be physical, the defense is going to be airtight, and the Spurs are going to sweep because they’re just flat out better. They may run into some trouble next round, but they can sleepwalk through this one. Not that Pop will let them.

Prediction: Spurs in 4

Houston Rockets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder

Needless to say, this is a huge series for me, because I could very well end up with a giant egg on my face. Harden and Westbrook facing off for seven games on the hardwood, not just the internet streets. Now, it’d be easy to say this is going to boil down to an extended game of one-on-one, and it very well might, I think it’s going to be the other guys who make the biggest difference. The teams’ strengths and weaknesses match-up pretty well, with the Rocket’s second ranked offense against the Thunder’s top ten defense, and the Thunder’s 17th ranked offense against the Rockets’ 17th ranked defense. I would imagine the Thunder would control the glass considering they led the NBA in total rebounding, offensive rebounding, rebounding rate, and rebounding differential. Both have elite perimeter defenders (Patrick Beverly and Andre Roberson) who will undoubtedly spend the majority of the time guarding the other team’s MVP candidate. Beverly is as close as you can possibly get to being a Westbrook stopper, especially if he dives at his knees all game again, and Roberson’s length and positioning can disrupt even the best offensive players. It’s probably going to come down to the three point line. The Thunder defend the 3 point line decently, finishing in the top half of the league in opponents’ percentage, and the Rockets were only about league average shooting it. But they just shoot so many. They’re relentless. It’s their entire gameplan. On the other side, the Rockets were top five defending the 3. The Thunder? Dead last in shooting. No team in the league shot the 3 worse. Casting up all those bricks against a team that set the record (again) for most 3s made in a season is a death sentence in 2017.

Prediction: Rockets in 7

Los Angeles Clippers vs. Utah Jazz

I’m conflicted about this series. On one hand, I hate watching the Clippers and like watching the Jazz, so naturally I would like the Jazz to win. On the other hand, if the Jazz do too well in the playoffs, Gordon Hayward might be more inclined to stick around and not come to Boston. This is a bit of clash of opposites with the Clippers taking a top four offense against the Jazz’s third ranked defense, but both rank in the bottom half of the league in pace, so it’s not exactly going to be like the ’07 Warriors-Mavs first round. Jazz are pretty decent on offense, and the numbers say the Clippers are pretty decent on defense. And they have three good defensive players with CP3, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, and DeAndre Jordan, but they’re the Clippers. It doesn’t matter who they face, they’ll break down at some point. The Jazz’s defense is almost perfectly built to stop the Clippers offense: length on the perimeter, strength in the post, and Rudy Gobert in the middle. Maybe I’m just sick of the Clippers and the whole “is this their year?” act, but I can’t see them winning. And if they beat the Jazz, they’re just going to get absolutely massacred by Golden State yet again. Do the players actually want that? Does Chris Paul really want to get put in a blender by Steph Curry for the millionth time? Actually, he probably does because it gives him four more games to yell at his teammates. The Jazz would at least be able to put up a fight against the Warriors. Maybe the Celtics don’t need Hayward. After all, Ainge would just trade him to get Rondo back, anyway.

Prediction: Jazz in 6

So, just how correct are these picks? I’m guessing very. Don’t let anyone tell you there’s no upsets in the NBA, because I picked two lower seeded teams to win. That’s more than what usually happens. Honestly, there’s not a ton on the line in the first round this year, aside from complete humiliation if a top seed loses. Only the Celtics really need to win. Everything else is all individual. Who will win the battle of former teammates turned MVP combatants? How much will Paul George try? How will Gordon Hayward perform as lead dog on a playoff team? Who will CP3 bitch at first? Will Isaiah Thomas or Kyle Lowry have a worse playoff run? Will anyone, on either team, take a swing at Dwight Howard? So many questions, but will there be enough answers? Only time will tell.

After a seemingly never-ending slog, the NBA regular season has finally come to an end. Sure there’s tons of playoff storylines, but we’ll get to those another day. Plenty of things need to be discussed now, though, that don’t involve the postseason. The Nets’ late-season run was stopped before they could truly jeopardize the Celtics future. The season couldn’t have ended fast enough for the Lakers, whose ill-advised hot streak nearly took them out of the bottom three records in the league, which could have disastrous results for them in the lottery. Tony Romo’s storied NBA career is coming to an end, so it’s important we remember his numerous contributions to the game. But most importantly, it’s time to hand out the awards for this season, and I’m willing to give you one more award prediction piece for you to read. For those of you with short memories, here’s where I thought things stood at the All Star break. Has anything changed? Or has it all stayed the same? Who’s making the All NBA Teams? Where do I stand on the Great MVP Debate? Patience, friend, we’ll get to it in time.

Most Improved Player: Giannis Antetokounmpo, Milwaukee Bucks

I just want to start this off by saying I spelled his name right by memory. Please hold your applause until the end of the show. There’s going to be a lot of words spent on some of the other awards, so might as well start with one of the easiest calls to make. Giannis turned 2016’s late season experiment into a season-long show. Surprisingly, a seven foot freak athlete with a 7’3′ wingspan, the biggest hands in the history of mankind, a point guard’s ball handling and decision making skills turned out to be a pretty good player. Imagine that. I know at least the Celtics didn’t expect that. Good thing the Celtics draft record is so spotless outside this one oversight. Got to love Danny Ainge! (*sobs inconsolably*) Listen, the guy lead the Bucks in pretty much every statistical category and has his team firmly in the coveted No One Wants To Play Us slot. Oh, yeah, he’s only 22 and hasn’t even learned to shoot yet. This won’t be the last award he wins in his career.

Apologies To: Rudy Gobert, Nikola Jokic, Otto Porter, James Johnson

Sixth Man of the Year: Andre Iguodala, Golden State Warriors

It feels weird not to just give this to whatever microwave scorer had the highest scoring average amongst reserves, but no bench player was more valuable than Iguodala, and it’s about time he’s recognized for his years of consistent play. His numbers seem modest, but dig even a little deeper than his 7.6 ppg. Did you know he lead the NBA in assist to turnover ratio by a wide margin? From February 28th to the end of the season, a.k.a. without Kevin Durant, he averaged 11 points on 60% shooting (including 41.9% from 3), 4 rebounds, and 3.4 assists. He played his typical great defense, and no reserve in the NBA is asked to do more on a nightly basis. Whereas most bench players are just told to add instant offense, be the caretaker backup ball handler, or lock up on d. Well Iggy does all of that every night. He keeps the Pace and Space mojo going when Steph and Draymond are on the bench then guards the other team’s best perimeter player. Being on the best team in the NBA three years running doesn’t hurt things, either. Eric Gordon, my midseason pick, faded a little too much for my taste in the second half of the season.

Apologies To: Eric Gordon, Lou Williams, Jamal Crawford

Rookie of the Year: Dario Saric, Philadelphia 76ers

There were a lot of tough decisions to make this year. With so many great players, who makes the All-NBA teams? With so few good players, who makes second team All-Rookie? Who wins MVP or Defensive Player? But, to be honest, this was the award I had the most trouble with. The one I went back and forth on more than any other. Because the way I pick this award will have a ripple effect throughout everything else. Yes, believe it or not, Rookie of the Year, in a year with an historically weak rookie class, is the most important and far-reaching award. I had to decide, not only for this but for every award, if health and games played mattered. Make no mistake, Joel Embiid was the best rookie this year. Statistically, he’s one of the greatest rookies of all time. But he only played 31 games. He only played 786 minutes. There’s no rules to these things, but at some point, you have to reward the players that actually play every day. If you spend any time online reading other, inferior awards predictions, you’ll often come across the phrase “who did this season belong to”/”who had the most memorable season.” It’s the primary reason people pick Russell Westbrook for MVP, and it’s also the primary reason people choose Joel Embiid as Rookie of the Year. Well, how can the season belong to him if he played in less than 40% of the games and less than 20% of the available minutes? That doesn’t seem fair at all. You (hopefully) didn’t think Jeremy Lin was MVP after Linsanity, did you? It’s the same idea with Embiid. Then, once I had established those parameters, I had to change my pick again because I realized it would be hypocritical to name Buddy Hield RoY for his 37 game stint in Sacramento, easily the best stretch of games for any non-Embiid rookie, since that’s essentially doing the same thing as picking Embiid- handing out an award for a small sample of great play and ignoring the vast majority of the season where they didn’t play (I’m counting his Pelicans time as not playing. Actually, Embiid’s DNPs might have been more productive than Buddy in New Orleans) (I know you think you’ve caught me red handed because I used a 20 game period of time as a big reason for picking Iguodala as sixth man, but he was great in his role all season long, he just stepped his game up late) (because I’m so good at this, this exact reasoning will show up again). So, I had to go with my third choice. Among human (i.e., not Embiid) rookies, he’s number one in scoring, second in rebounding, and top ten in assists. Good enough for me.

Apologies To: Joel Embiid (I hope no voters put Embiid second or third on their ballots. If you’re ranking him at all, that means you think he should be considered, and if he should be considered, you damn well better think he should win), Buddy Hield, Malcolm Brogdon

Coach of the Year: Brad Stevens, Boston Celtics

This is actually kind of a stacked category, too, but I’m going with my guy Brad. Sorry, any time you turn a team of castoffs, young guys, and players drafted ahead of Giannis Antetokounmpo, all lead by someone 5’9″ (I repeat: the Celtics best player is 5’9″), into the number one seed in the East, you’re coach of the year. Sure, they’re one of the weakest one seeds ever and literally no sane person in the world thinks they’ll beat Cleveland, but they’re still the one seed. They had a better record than the defending champion, more stacked 1-12 than the Warriors, LeBron-led Cavaliers. This team is held together with rubber bands and scotch tape, and he helped absolutely every player maximize their talent. Just think what he’ll do with one of the studs in this year’s draft (assuming they don’t get screwed/Ainge doesn’t try to outsmart everyone only to make a fool of himself. Both are big asks).

Shoutout to the somehow equally publicly praised and overlooked Gregg Popovich, who pretty much did the exact same thing as Brad Stevens, but he has Kawhi and I’m a Celtics fan. Mike D’Antoni is a bona fide genius, and his coaching job didn’t get any worse than it was when I named him my midseason Coach of the Year. Eric Spoelstra will get some votes for miraculously turning the Heat around midseason, but not mine.

Apologies To: Pop, D’Antoni, Spoelstra, Scott Brooks

Defensive Player of the Year: Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors

On the surface, this might seem like a coin flip between Draymond and Rudy Gobert. Both have great cases- Draymond leads the league in steals, is second in deflections and averages a block and a half per game for the league’s second best defense. Gobert leads the league in blocks, is fourth in the NBA in rebounding (legitimately so, unlike some other players in the league), and is the anchor of the league’s third best defense. Both completely shut down opponents at the rim. Gobert might be the most intimidating player in the league, with his block numbers not really reflecting his true impact. But Draymond is just so versatile. He literally guards everybody. If he has to guard the perimeter he’s impossible to get around and gets his hands on every errant pass or careless dribble. He’s a brick wall down low and will instantly erase any post up attempt or drive to the rim. Outside Kawhi and maaaaaaaaaybe Giannis, he’s the only guy I’d trust to “guard” LeBron with the game on the line. How many people can guard James Harden and Dwight Howard effectively? Probably only Draymond. He’s been a defensive force for years, now, and it’s about time he gets recognized.

Apologies To: Rudy Gobert, Kawhi Leonard, Paul Millsap, Hassan Whiteside (haha, just kidding)

All-NBA Teams

I know you thought you were getting MVP next, but I have to save the main event for last. This is one of the places where the aforementioned importance of health plays a role, because Kevin Durant is obviously a first-team talent, but missing 20 games is missing 20 games, doesn’t matter who it is.

First Team

G- James Harden, Houston Rockets

G- Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder

F- LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

F- Kawhi Leonard- San Antonio Spurs

C- Anthony Davis- New Orleans Pelicans

Second Team

G- Steph Curry, Golden State Warriors

G- John Wall, Washington Wizards

F- Giannis Antetokounmpo, Milwaukee Bucks

F- Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors

C- Rudy Gobert, Utah Jazz

Third Team

G- Isaiah Thomas, Boston Celtics

G- Demar Derozan, Toronto Raptors

F- Jimmy Butler, Chicago Bulls

F- Kevin Durant, Golden State Warriors (couldn’t leave him out entirely)

C- Karl-Anthony Towns, Minnesota Timberwolves

All-Defense

First Team

G- Avery Bradley, Boston Celtics

G- Danny Green, San Antonio Spurs

F- Kawhi Leonard, San Antonio Spurs

F- Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors

C- Rudy Gobert, Utah Jazz

Second Team

G- Patrick Beverly, Houston Rockets

G- Tony Allen, Memphis Grizzlies

F- Andre Roberson, Oklahoma City Thunder

F- Paul Millsap, Atlanta Hawks

C- Anthony Davis, New Orleans Pelicans

All-Rookie

First Team

Malcolm Brogdon, Milwaukee Bucks

Buddy Hield, Sacramento Kings

Jamal Murray, Denver Nuggets

Dario Saric, Philadelphia 76ers

Willy Hernangomez, New York Knicks

Second Team

Jaylen Brown, Boston Celtics

Brandon Ingram, Los Angeles Lakers

Yogi Ferrell, Dallas Mavericks

Tyler Ulis, Phoenix Suns

Joel Embiid, Philadelphia 76ers (it’s one thing to keep him off first team, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to try and say there were actually 10 rookies who played over 31 games that were better than Embiid)

Most Valuable Player:

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James Harden, Houston Rockets

Before we really get into this, I need to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry Kawhi and LeBron, but for me this is a two horse race despite both of you having unreal seasons. I’m sorry reader who undoubtedly wanted to read about how great Russell Westbrook is, but I can actually think for myself. And I’m sorry Russell Westbrook, because a lot of what I’m about to say might seem like hate, but I don’t hate you at all, I just hate anything that everyone else loves. I just want to get this mini-rant out of the way first, but I’m so sick of the Westbrook dick-ridng that the Internet does everyday. If he goes 2-35 with 14 turnovers but has a triple double it’s “wow Russ (if you want to seem cool you have to call his Russ) so amazing. Triple double crazy no one else can do it.” If he says he’s going to murder Kevin Durant’s entire family and his future children it’s “lmao Russ is the best so petty lolololol.” I don’t get why he’s still holding on to this facade that he doesn’t think about Kevin Durant all day everyday and everything he does he does for the sole purpose of showing Durant that he doesn’t care about him, but whatever, everyone eats it up anyway. We get it, you love Russell Westbrook and think he’s the greatest and you hate KD and all that, but that doesn’t make him MVP. Liking someone more doesn’t make someone MVP. I’m not the biggest LeBron guy, but I’ll always say when he’s MVP. Yes, if LeBron didn’t exist Westbrook would be the greatest athlete to ever play in the NBA, but he’s not MVP. I’m sorry (not really though).

Now, onto my case. Everyone is losing their minds about Westbrook’s stats, and rightly so. There’s a reason no one has averaged a triple double in 50 years. But there’s not really a huge difference between his stats and Harden’s. First, we have to throw out rebounding, because we shouldn’t care about rebounding with these two because they’re both guards and rebounding doesn’t matter for them anyway, but still. Guess who leads the league in uncontested rebounds? If you said Westbrook, you’re right! 8.5 of his 10.7 rebounds per game are uncontested, i.e., he forced his teammates to box out really hard so he could chase triple doubles. But 6.4 of Harden’s 8.1 rebounds were also uncontested. You’re telling me Harden couldn’t have gotten up to 10 rebounds a game if that’s all the Rockets cared about? Neither guy was exactly banging down low fighting for loose balls. They both got typical guard rebounds, they both just got a lot of them. Moving on, Westbrook averages 31.6 points to Harden’s 29.1. But Westbrook takes five more shots per game than Harden. Harden’s true shooting percentage, which incorporates free throws and adds weight to three point shooting, is 61.3% compared to Westbrook’s 55.4%. Harden’s shooting efficiency is vastly superior, even with Westbrook unexpectedly shooting around league average from 3. Assuming he kept the same percentage, if Harden shot two (2) more times per game, he’d average more points than league-leading scorer Russell Westbrook. Harden comes out on top in playmaking, too, which is something that does matter for guards. Now, it would be irresponsible to leave out the fact that Harden set the record for most turnovers in a season. No one has ever turned the ball over more than Harden this year. Well, if Harden wasn’t around guess who would have the record? Westbrook from this year! Both of them turn the ball over way too much, but both of them have the ball the entire game and set up absolutely everything for their teams, so that’s a wash. Harden averaged 11.2 assists to Westbrook’s 10.4. Not a huge difference. But, when you look at assist points created, Harden is ahead of Westbrook by over three points per game. When you add their scoring numbers to the assist points to see how many points per game they’re responsible for, it’s 56.2 to 55.4 in favor of Harden. So for all the fawning over Westbrook’s scoring, Harden creates more points and is more efficient while doing so. Neither one is particularly good on defense, but Westbrook will certainly get the benefit of the doubt over Harden, who has improved/tried a little this season.

Another thing floating around is that Westbrook closed the season so well that you have to give it to him. Sure, in March and April he averaged 32.7, 10.7, and 10.7 with slightly better shooting. So, his season long numbers. Yes, he hit a buzzer beater against the Nuggets and had some huge games. But didn’t we establish earlier that a 20 game stretch doesn’t make a season? Statistically, he was minimally better than he was the entirety of the season down the stretch, where Harden either at or slightly below his season long form during that same stretch of time. So Harden was better than him all season, but during the big stretch of time where everyone wants to point at and say “Russ was so much better!” Harden was actually still better. Weird. Westbrook has been devastating in the clutch, that’s undeniable. But it’s not like Harden is some wallflower in close games. And, of course, the Rockets had a significantly better record.

Everyone will try to act like Westbrook is dragging a group of 8th graders to wins while Harden is working with the ’86 Celtics, but that’s not true whatsoever. Look at the Rockets’ roster and tell me how many sure things they had before the season. Eric Gordon, Ryan Anderson, and Patrick Beverly are frequent injury risks. Nene was washed up in Washington. Clint Capela was unproven and thrust into a huge role. The only guys where you could say “I know what I’m going to get out of this player” are Trevor Ariza and Lou Williams, and Lou Williams wasn’t on the roster until February. When healthy, it looks like the Rockets have the superior roster, but that’s just because it was perfectly built to compliment James Harden’s skill set and Harden brings out the best in them. The Thunder roster was perfectly built to compliment Westbrook and Durant’s skill sets, but when Durant left, it became perfectly built for Russell to chase triple doubles. The Thunder’s only goal this season was for Westbrook to average a triple double, whether the other players liked it or not. The Rockets’ goal was shoot a million 3s and try to game the system. And it shows in their records. Personally, I’m not thrilled about having the MVP on a 6 seed. The Thunder’s winning percentage was .573 this year. The last MVP whose team had a lower winning percentage was Moses Malone in 1982. So, for 35 straight years winning a lot of games has mattered in the MVP race, but now that a player who had a teammate leave in free agency is having a huge season it doesn’t mean anything anymore? Should Mo Williams have won the MVP LeBron’s first year in Miami? Should Chris Bosh have won MVP LeBron’s second first year with Cleveland? No. Kevin Durant leaving should have nothing to do with this, but it invariably will. Does it suck he left? Yes. Does it suck he went to the Warriors? Yes. Would I feel the same way if he came to the Celtics? No. But that doesn’t make someone MVP. When movies cast Daniel Day-Lewis as a mentally challenged man who paints with his feet, we roll our eyes for the blatant Oscar chasing. But when the Thunder dedicate their entire season to inflating Westbrook’s stats and allowing him to unabashedly gun for the MVP, we embrace it? It’s almost cynical how un-transparent Westbrook’s MVP case is. The Rockets built their team to get Harden MVP, too, but they did so under the guise of trying to win. Once Durant left, everything the Thunder did was to try and ensure Westbrook could average a triple double and try to get MVP, just so he could show Kevin Durant just how little he cares about him. And all of you are falling for it. Almost every aspect of Harden’s season has been better than Westbrook’s. I hope everyone else realizes that, too.

Apologies To: Russell Westbrook, LeBron James, Kawhi Leonard, Steph Curry, Carmelo Anthony Isaiah Thomas

source– “I just know the conversation gets a little bit more talked about when I’m a part of it,” James said before the Cavs practiced Tuesday on UCLA’s campus. “If it’s somebody else, it gets blown up a briefly, it gets talked about a little bit, but it doesn’t have legs and it’s gone. But as soon as I’m involved it’s just a whole different situation.”

When Cavs coach Tyronn Lue was asked whether James’ actions are judged differently, he responded, “You know that.”

James has played in 63 of the Cavs’ 69 games this season, sitting out five games for rest and one because of strep throat. Now in his 14th season and coming off six straight Finals appearances, the 32-year-old James has maintained a high level of play, averaging 26.2 points on 54.3 percent shooting, a career-high 8.4 rebounds and a career-high 8.8 assists per game.

Supporting James’ position is the fact that Silver was compelled to reach out to teams after James and his teammates sat out, calling the decision “an extremely significant issue for our league” and threatening “significant penalties” in the future if the practice is continued, as first reported by ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne, but failed to do so the week before when back-to-back MVP Stephen Curry and his Golden State Warriors teammates Klay Thompson, Draymond Green and Andre Iguodala were all held out of Golden State’s prime-time Saturday night game against the San Antonio Spurs on ABC.

Silver’s memo also called for owners to be more involved in the decision-making process when it comes to holding out their players, according to Shelburne’s report, which is a premise James found fault in.

“The owners be what? The owners be in the decision[-making process] of resting players?” an incredulous James asked. “There’s owners that are not even around the teams. There’s owners that are just owning the team because they just own the team. It’s whatever. What does that make any sense of?”

“I’ve played through injuries my whole career,” James added. “So I deserve to get a game [off] every now and then.”

What’s that? More LeBron James melodrama, you say? What else is new? What’s he saying now? Resting players during prime-time games is only an issue because of him (even though every time someone does it it sparks controversy and this was just the culmination of years of people complaining)? That’s just LeBron being LeBron. He’s the most persecuted player of all time (according to him). Don’t even know why I’m talking about it, to be honest. I guess I’ll read the whole thing since he’s usually got some good quotes buried near the end. “I deserve to get a game (off) every now and then?” Wait, what?

“I rest when I retire.”– Feb. 14, 2017

So, which is it, man? Do you never rest because you’re a complete freak who never gets tired/want to make a show of being the only good player on the team (according to him)? Or do you deserve some games off because you’ve been an ironman for years who never misses games/wants to make of show of carrying such a heavy load since he’s the only good player on the team (according to him)? You can’t have it both ways. This is the problem with LeBron. I really try to like him. When my (theoretical) future kids and grandkids ask me about him, I want to be able to tell them how great he was and how he was a force of nature, not tell them how big of a piece of shit he was. He just makes it so hard. Half of what he says is just woe-is-me, get-me-some-help-even-though-we-already-have-the-best-and-deepest-roster-in-the-league-and-it-keeps-getting-better-every-day-when-we-add-some-ring-chasing-veteran-for-the-league-minimum, everyone-hates-me-and-is-out-to-get-me-even-though-I’m-the-most-popular-player-in-the-league-and-Nike-gave-me-a-billion-dollar-lifetime-contract, while the other half is just him telling everyone how great he is and that the Warriors are beneath them (don’t the Cavs suck, LeBron? How can you be above the best team in the league (according to him)?). He’s so lame and contrived and contradictory. It only took him a month and a half to change his stance on resting! Or did he just forget he had already chosen to die on the “I don’t need to rest because I’m LeBron and my team stinks without me” hill and was ready to move on to the “I can rest whenever I want to because I’m LeBron and my team is so stacked they don’t need me” hill? He’s always got an out. He always, always has an excuse ready and is prepared to flip any criticism against him into an indictment on the league or the culture at large. It’s kind of brilliant, really. As much of a basketball genius he is, he’s almost smarter when it comes to playing the media (I’ll never forget my favorite Miami LeBron story: One time Chris Bosh came out and said LeBron was the smartest person he’d ever met because he could name where a bunch of NFL players went to college. Like whenever someone made a play he’d just say where that player went to school. First of all, I have to meet Chris Bosh if that’s his baseline for intelligence. He’ll think I’m the second coming of Einstein. Second, it’s such perfect LeBron. He obviously knew the impressionable Bosh would lap up any kind of trivial knowledge he could throw out there, so he probably just googled everyone playing in the game beforehand so he could name some real obscure 4th cornerback’s alma mater. The innocent and naïve Bosh was so thrilled to be in the same room as his hero he just lapped it up. Knowing Jadeveon Clowney went to South Carolina doesn’t make you smart, it just means you pay attention to football). He always knows how to make LeBron seem like the good guy/victim/underdog despite being the most hyped, admired, and physically talented basketball player ever. At the end of the day, that’s his greatest skill.

P.S. LeBron James directed a cease-and-desist order of sorts on Tuesday to LaVar Ball, the outspoken father of three — including star UCLAfreshman Lonzo Ball — who said earlier this month that his children are set up better for future success than those of the Cleveland Cavaliers’ star. 

“Keep my kids’ name out of your mouth. Keep my family out of your mouth,” James said of LaVar Ball to ESPN on Tuesday, as the Cavaliers practiced on UCLA’s campus, two days after a road victory over the Los Angeles Lakers.

“This is dad to dad. It’s a problem now.”

People forget that LeBron is a father of three. You’d be forgiven if you didn’t know since he never mentions it. But he’s a father of three, so you can’t criticize him.