Starting up a new feature here in the Brian’s Den, just because I appreciate my readers and like to keep introducing new menu items because if you blind people with how many choices you have, no one notices the food isn’t great. It’s called Random Thoughts (I put a lot of effort into naming my segments, if you couldn’t tell) and it’s pretty much just things that I wanted to talk about that didn’t warrant a full blog. Be it small complaints, small sports takes, whatever. Got it? Good. Let’s get into it.
Do Russell Westbrook’s triple doubles mean anything?
So today I finally went to get a haircut (more on this later) and was surprised that the TV was tuned in to the take-hole that is Colin Cowherd’s FS1 show. He was debating himself on if Russell Westbrook tying Oscar Robertson’s long standing record for triple doubles actually meant anything. And I’ve heard both sides of it, from people saying it’s totally meaningless to he unquestionably deserves MVP. While my full thoughts on his MVP-candidacy are coming soon, I have to say it’s stupid to say the record is meaningless. It has to mean something. It’s undeniable that the media has grown absolutely obsessed with triple doubles. If you have 33 points, 9 rebounds, and 8 assists you had a bad game. It’s kind of cheapened them, in a weird way. But even still, it shows how much he does on the court. I mean, sure, his teammates work harder boxing out their man so Russell can get uncontested rebounds than anyone has ever tried for anything and he has the ball in his hands every second he’s on the court so it’d be more impressive if he wasn’t averaging 10 assists, but it has to mean something. No one’s done what he’s doing in fifty years. That’s impressive no matter what it is. But it shouldn’t mean he’s a shoo-in for MVP, though, either. If the argument for him as MVP is entirely based on him averaging a triple double, would he not be MVP if he was averaging 9 rebounds a game? Everyone loses the ability to think rationally when it comes to triple doubles. It’s an incredibly impressive statistical feat, but he’s also on a team that’s not going to do anything in the playoffs and the fact that he’s the biggest ball hog of all time might actually be holding them back. He’s not the MVP.
I got a new phone
I’m finally taking myself out of the stone age and getting a new cell phone. No longer will my pictures look like cave drawings. No longer will I have to delete three apps every time I want to take a video. No longer will my phone conveniently fit into one hand, since all the new phones are the size of a small book. I go the Verizon store, tell my man Reggie I need a new phone, and I perused their various wares. A lot of great options, no doubt, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Some have facial recognition. Some are waterproof and don’t need cases. Some have professional-quality cameras and video editing software built in. Some are literally more powerful than a supercomputer. Some jerk you off and wipe your ass at the same time. Pretty much the only negative I saw is that the iPhone 7 Plus doesn’t have a headphone jack anymore. Unless you buy an adaptor or have bluetooth headphones, you can’t charge the phone and have headphones in at the same time. It’s stupid and annoying and I hate it. Needless to say, I went with the iPhone 7 Plus.
Haircut Update
For any of you who remember my barber dilemma, I finally mustered the courage to go out and get a haircut, and, shamefully, I couldn’t get myself to go to a different place. I walked in, and standing in the same place as always was my barber. He didn’t move. He didn’t even go on vacation! I have absolutely no idea what he was talking about the last time I went. Whatever, at least I look good. That’s all that matters.
Chris Sale Starts Tonight for the Boston Red Sox
Can’t believe it’s actually happening, but Chris Sale is pitching tonight. For the Boston Red Sox. At Fenway Park. It’s not Opening Day. As in, the Red Sox are so stacked, Chris Sale was not the first pitcher they threw out there. And other teams in the American League are still thinking of trying this season. What a crazy time we live in.
It annoys me that it doesn’t matter that the Cavs are a horrible team once the playoffs start
The Cleveland Cavaliers are a horrible team. They STINK on defense, their players are always fighting each other, LeBron is in full subtweet mode, the Celtics are going to beat them tonight and solidify their hold on the number one seed in the East. Nothing is going their way and none of that matters. Once the playoffs start they’re going to flip the switch and become the team that won the title last year. They’re going to win every Eastern series in at most six games. It’s just annoying and predictable. I hate the NBA sometimes.
I need a haircut. It’s not a desperate need just yet, but I could go for a trim. The only problem is, I think the guy I’ve been going to moved. Last time he was there he was telling everyone who would listen about how he was going away and was saying goodbye to all the regulars. I didn’t ask where he was going or further the conversation in any way because I lack social skills, so I was hoping someone else would do it for me. No one did, so I’m left wondering if I’m out of a barber or not. And if I am, I don’t really know what my next move is.
Last year’s World Series runner-up lost in excruciating fashion after blowing a 3-1 lead, fighting back to improbably tie game 7, then losing the championship in extra innings. Just the same old hard-luck Indians, right? Well, not exactly. Almost overnight, the Tribe has transformed into a big spending juggernaut clearly looking to exorcise last year’s demons. They signed Wily Mo Pena, for crying out loud! If that doesn’t scream win-now, I don’t know what does.
I don’t know, man. There’s just something about this team that absolutely bores the hell out of me. They’re just so…boring. And it’s not like they’re a bad team. They’re actually pretty decent. If you treat weighted runs created + as a catch-all stat for offensive productivity adjusted for stadiums, the Tigers actually placed 
How the hell did this team win a championship two years ago? Seriously, it’s getting more mysterious by the minute. I shouldn’t pile on the Royals, though, since, even though I didn’t like him as much as Jose Fernandez, they’re dealing with the same tragic situation as the Marlins with the death of presumed number one starter Yordano Ventura. So surreal to lose two young, talented guys so close together like this. The loss was met with less public grieving mostly because it was during the offseason (and he spent his whole career throwing at people and was pretty much the least popular player in the league. Not to disrespect the dead, though) but it’s still going to have a huge impact on this team. It’s pretty much like the Marlins: they could fall apart or they could rally together and become more than the sum of their parts (again). They’ve certainly done it before.
Listen, the White Sox are going to be bad this year. Very bad, in fact. But it’s hard to say this offseason was nothing but a rousing success for them. Sure they had to give up their two best players, but they weren’t going anywhere with them and now they have three of the top 
I may have been a little harsh on this division, because the Twins are actually kind of awesome. Their lineup is full of talented players, led by Brian Dozier, one of the most random 40 home run hitters of all time. Byron Buxton, long heralded as the future of baseball, could finally be ready to start living up to expectations. Miguel Sano is just as like to hit 50 homers as he is to strike out 300 times. Joe Mauer is still a wizard with the stick. The only problem is they have the worst pitching and defense in the league, and maybe some of the worst ever. Not ideal for trying to win games.
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