Category: Basketball

I Think I Own the Barclays Center Now

I went to the Nets game last night, as all true New Yorkers are wont to do. As it was the last home game of the season, it was Fan Appreciation Night, which was nice up until they had DeMarre Carroll had to pick up a mic and thank the fans for their tremendous support, even though about 65% of the seats were empty. I’ll be honest that was a little awkward. But other than that, I, a longtime Nets fan, had a great time at Fan Appreciation Night. Got a free shirt. Did some modeling.

 

Ate some food.

It was nice. The Nets don’t deserve the Barclays Center. It’s so clean and modern and spacious and it’s pretty easily the best place I’ve ever watched a basketball game. The exterior was covered in rust-colored paneling, which I thought was actually rusted but, on further inspection, it was all aesthetic, which is the most Brooklyn thing imaginable. The food was expensive, but it was pretty good, and show me an arena that doesn’t charge an infinite amount of money for a hot dog and I’ll show you a G-League arena. It has free WiFi that actually works. The only downside is that literally no one cares about the Nets so no one goes. It’s a beautiful place, and the fact that it’s so nice is by far the most interesting thing about team.

As for the product on the court, folks, I think I speak for everyone when I say anyone who watched the game will remember it forever as the greatest game of Allen Crabbe’s career. The legendary shooting guard was on fire from the jump, pouring in a career high 41 points. I thought he’d get 70!

I haven’t spent much time watching Nets games, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that they flat out refuse to take 2-point shots. They’re second in the league in 3s attempted this season, and I’m pretty sure 70% of those have come in the last two weeks. They hunted 3s like Russell Westbrook hunts rebounds. D’Angelo Russell and Crabbe have the greenest green lights in basketball history, regardless of what percentages they shoot. Listen, the Nets are terrible, but I like what they’ve been doing the last few years. With no first round picks or stakes, why not pursue experimental playing styles? Why not try to acquire every bad or expiring contract? Why not offer every free agent, restricted or unrestricted, a short term deal for big money? At some point next century when the Nets get their first rounders back, things are going to start turning around.

Luckily, the Nets had an actual opponent last night. It would have been crazy if I just went to an open practice or something. Let me tell you: Bulls-Nets in the last game of the season is the least consequential sporting event I’ve ever attended. If you asked 100 diehard NBA fans if this game even happened, I’d be willing to bet at least 75% would have had no idea. But I’m glad I was there to witness it, because the Bulls put on a tanking display for the ages. Robin Lopez, Chris Dunn, Zach LaVine, and Denzel Valentine didn’t play. Justin Holliday had like 10 points in the first quarter and I don’t know if he got in the game after that. With three minutes left in a six point game, the Bulls lineup was Ryan Arcidiacono, Jerian Grant, Sean Kilpatrick, David Nwaba, and Cristiano Felicio. That’s not made up. That’s an actual NBA lineup. I’d love to see the per 100 possessions stats for that group, gotta be one of the the best in the league!

Surprisingly, the Nets won (even covered!), so the question needs to be asked: am I the new King of the Barclays Center? The facts are simple- in games in which I haven’t attended, the Nets are 27-53. When I do attend? 1-0. Kind of startling, honestly. Add in the fact that I was practically begged to sit on the Nets Throne and I sampled some traditional Brooklyn fare, and I think it’s only natural that the Nets offer me complementary season tickets and the deed to the Barclays Center. Ever since Jay-Z left, they’ve been dying for some star power. I’ll gladly become the new face of the Nets. I’ll go to team events, I’ll go to (some) games, I’ll do commercials and promo spots. All I ask is free food and a nice paycheck. Like $2-$3 million max, that’s it. I’ll even pretend to be a Nets fan, which is really the most difficult ask of all. The Nets desperately need buzz. I can’t think of anyone more buzz-worthy than me. So, come on Nets. Crown a new King of Kings County.

Kyrie Irving Out for the Year

NBA: Boston Celtics at Los Angeles Lakers

source– In the aftermath of left knee surgery, All-Star point guard Kyrie Irving of the Boston Celtics will miss the rest of the regular season and playoffs, the team announced.

Irving will undergo another procedure on Saturday to remove two screws from his patella that were inserted in 2015 to repair a fracture he suffered in that year’s NBA Finals. The team said a bacterial infection was discovered at the site of the screws when Irving had his most recent surgery, on March 24, to remove tension wire in the knee and that Saturday’s procedure will ensure no infection remains in the knee. The wire had been placed in his knee during the same surgery in which the screws were inserted in 2015.

R.I.P. 2017-18 Boston Celtics. Gone, but not forgotten.

In all honesty, I’m not upset about this at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. I don’t have any personal experience, but I’ve heard having screws in your knees is not ideal. As long as this doesn’t become a Derrick Rose saga (and there’s absolutely nothing to suggest it will), Kyrie should take all the time he needs to come back 100%.

Listen, Kyrie is the franchise. The Celtics can only go as far as he takes them. So, yes, him going down effectively kills any and all playoff hopes they had. I hate to break it to the more optimistic Celtics fans out there, but the C’s were never winning the title this year. Even if they miraculously win the East, they’re winning max one game in the Finals. Once Gordon Hayward went down a millisecond into the season, it was always about next season. Barring a shock LeBron-to-Philadelphia move, the Celtics should be the early favorite to win the East next year. I’m totally fine just focusing on that.

Use these playoffs to get Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum some high-pressure experience. Let Terry Rozier keep developing, rendering Marcus Smart redundant (depending on his price tag). Now that Kyrie’s gone, there’s really no non-injury related worst case scenario for the playoffs. It’ll stink if they lose first round, but they didn’t have their best player, what were they supposed to do? If they win a series, it’s just a nice bonus shot of confidence going into next season. Not that he could possibly improve his standing after everything he’s done this year, but if the Celtics have any success it’s time to ask whether Brad Stevens is legitimately the best coach in the league. Maybe the best coach of all time. If he can get Abdel Nader into the second round of the playoffs, it’s time to put him in the Hall of Fame.

So next year the Celtics have Kyrie, Hayward, Horford, another summer of development for Jaylen, Tatum, and Rozier, and the Kings’ first round pick. Yes, please.

Welcome to the Brian’s Den Newsroom

Introducing a new feature here at https://www.briansden69.com, the Newsroom. Since there’s going to (hopefully) be a lot going on in my life soon, I think this is a good way to kind of cover a lot of the stories I may not get the chance to talk about, particularly in the sports world. I’m thinking about doing these a few times a week. Let me know your thoughts- good, bad, never do it again? Either way, there’s some good stuff coming up in the near future.

I’d Rather Miss the Tournament than Lose like Cincinnati

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Listen, I know I’m a few days late on this take. So sue me. I’m planning a pretty big move, if you hadn’t heard. but just because I’m tight on time at the moment doesn’t mean I can’t generate scalding takes, and I can’t just sit on this one even if everyone’s already forgotten this game happened: I’d rather miss the NCAA Tournament/playoffs than lose the way Cincinnati just did.

Before everyone gets up in arms, Sports Take Law requires me to establish my own rooting interests: people forget I went to UConn. We did, in fact, miss the tournament. We were the worst team in D-1. Worst offense of all time. Somehow played uglier games than Virginia and Syracuse, who’s entire gameplan is to make games ugly. They were so bad they got a guy who played at UConn and won a title four years ago run out of town (yes, he was very bad and I wanted him gone, but the fact remains). We stink at basketball. You know what we didn’t do, though? Blow a 22-point second half lead in like 30 seconds.

I should also probably state that I hate Cincinnati. They’re UConn’s “rival” in the fact that they’re in the same conference and were both in the old Big East, but they’ve kicked our ass for years, now. I hate that little gremlin Mick Cronin. Guy’s got the worst roid rage of all time despite being like 5’6″ 150 lbs. I have no idea how he gets anyone to play for him. So seeing them totally collapse against Nevada was quite satisfying. One of the worst losses of all time. Cincinnati might as well have been up 50 with five minutes left. They were completely dominating. Nevada had nothing going whatsoever. No game has ever been such a sure thing. But then they just…lost. I’ve never seen a collapse like that. Not the Lakers in the 08 Finals, not the Falcons, not even Virginia. Sure, Virginia panicked after going down 2-0 against a 16 seed, but they just got their butts whupped. Cincinnati had such a stranglehold on the game the announcers had started digging into the garbage time stories with 10 minutes left. It was over. But they lost. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to know you’re going to win but then just stop playing. Talk about embarrassing! Those Cincinnati players must feel absolutely terrible about themselves. Probably going to stick with them until they die. You hate to see it.

But, yeah, I’d much rather just stink than have these losses. These games scar you. I’ve never gotten over Super Bowl 42. I’m willing to bet that one game is the reason I’m such a miserable piece of shit. Then there was Super Bowl 46. And the 2003 ALCS. And the 2010 NBA Finals. And Super Bowl 52. If I was given the option of making it to the big game and losing or missing the playoffs I’d take missing the playoffs 1000000000% of the time. I don’t need that stress in my life. I don’t need one of my teams going down in infamy because they blew it so bad. I mean, one of Cincinnati’s best players fouled out with five minutes left because he was being an idiot. Completely let his teammates and everyone who believed in him down. He’ll never get over it. I’d say it was the worst moment of his life, but after a loss like that, I won’t sit here and say he won’t go into a downward spiral. Anyway, I wouldn’t want any of my guys to have to deal with that. Sure, you have to make a few playoff runs to keep everyone off your back, but no one remembers that the Nuggets missed the playoffs in 2016, only that the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead. It’s all about subverting your own expectations and keeping the pressure off, not trying to be a hero only to get dragged back to Earth in the worst way possible. Aim for mediocre, not heartbreak. Unless you can actually win, then do that.

Cincinnati’s loss was so bad no one even noticed Xavier collapsed just as bad. Rough week for Sam Wyche.

The Only Guide You’ll Need for March Madness 2018

773b17629f714a1b80f19b999bd9faa4-220px-2018_ncaa_mens_final_four_logoHere we are at the end of another college basketball season. Or the start, depending on your level of commitment. I won’t judge. Not too hard, at least. Either way, the NCAA Tournament is starting tonight. Yes, the play-in games count. What better way to warm up? Diving in to the deep end of basketball heaven on Thursday without whetting your appetite first is dangerous to your health. Without prior exposure, getting hit with the same four commercials all day can bury you. You can get used to tuning in to TruTV, even though Tournament games have been on TruTV for at least six years now, so you’re really a giant idiot if you have to ask what TruTV is in 2018 (instances like this make me wonder if I’m the weirdo for retaining information and knowing every channel I’ve ever tuned into). You can slowly expose your body to the terrible food and drinks you’ll endlessly consume over the long weekend. The First Four are a necessary step in the March Madness process, regardless of how bad the games wind up being.

Last year, I gave you a rundown of all 68 teams in the field. Everything you needed to know in one sentence. Why change anything now? Unlike the selection show executives, I see no point in messing with a winning formula. I’m here to guide you in your bracket creation. Need a refresher on who’s in the field? Forget who’s good? Stuck on a pick and need some inspiration? Look no further. With UConn sitting at home for a second straight year, my thoughts on this year’s field are unclouded by bias. It’s time to attack the bracket with a zeal unknown to mankind in pursuit of perfection. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

East Region

  1. Villanova– If Big East games weren’t stuck on FS1 I bet more people would respect Nova.
  2. Purdue– Imagine thinking Purdue was going to do anything in the tournament?
  3. Texas Tech– They’re my annual “All-In on a random team” team, which means they’re out in the first round.
  4. Wichita State– In 2018 PC culture, the fact that Wichita State is able to remain the Shockers is absolutely astounding.
  5. West Virginia– Huggins is making the Final Four this year, I can feel it in my bones.
  6. Florida– Honestly don’t think I watched one second of Florida hoops this season.
  7. Arkansas– Honestly don’t think I watched one second of Arkansas hoops this season.
  8. Virginia Tech– It’s divine March Madness law that Virginia Tech play in the 8-9 game every year.
  9. Alabama– This bracket is a little too SEC heavy for my taste.
  10. Butler– People forget Gordon Hayward almost hit that half-court shot that one time.
  11. St. Bonaventure/UCLA– Not enough colleges have brown jerseys.
  12. Murray State– I still remember being in a random Applebee’s in New York City that time they won on a buzzer beater in the first round.
  13. Marshall– If McConaughey’s there, look out.
  14. Stephen F. Austin– Hey, kind of like Stone Cold Steve Austin, right? Get it?
  15. Cal State Fullerton– How many state universities does California have, 10,000?
  16. LIU Brooklyn/Radford– There are four play-in games. Two of them are in this bracket. This annoys me.

Midwest Bracket (I don’t care if you have it in the same podunk midwest arena, for the love of God call it the North region)

  1. Kansas– Think I could suit up for Kansas and they’d still win the Big 12.
  2. Duke– *sigh* Duke’s probably winning the title this year.
  3. Michigan State– Might have two future NBA All Stars and might lose first round.
  4. Auburn– Auburn stiiiiiiiinks.
  5. Clemson– Trying to figure out the reasoning behind Clemson and Kentucky being the same seed.
  6. TCU– Such a nondescript team.
  7. Rhode Island– Everyone saying Dan Hurley is the next UConn head coach so I’m rooting for whatever result will prevent that from happening.
  8. Seton Hall– Love me some pirate mascots and also Sam Dalembert.
  9. N.C. State– They won the title in ’83, so you know they’ve got the mental makeup to go deep.
  10. Oklahoma– Quite possibly the most fixed selection of all time.
  11. Arizona State/Syracuse– I already know Syracuse will somehow win a couple games purely because they have absolutely no business being in the field whatsoever.
  12. New Mexico State– A popular upset pick, which means they’ll lose by 25.
  13. Charleston– I’m just gonna come out and say it- there’s too much maroon in the bottom of this bracket.
  14. Bucknell– Bison are one of the great American animals, they need more mascot representation.
  15. Iona– I don’t know why, but I always picture Iona’s campus as a big cathedral but they worship Satan instead of God.
  16. Penn– I’m just glad Harvard didn’t make it.

South Region

  1. Virginia– So, so, so boring, but also good.
  2. Cincinnati– If you win the American Conference tournament but no one watches, did it really happen?
  3. Tennessee– I can’t be the only one surprised that they were randomly good this year.
  4. Arizona– Haven’t seen anything this under-seeded since the first time I tried playing Farming Simulator. Bada-bing!
  5. Kentucky– “I know I only recruit highly touted one-and-done guys so we’re young by design, but you can’t blame me, we’re a young team!”- John Calipari after they lose.
  6. Miami– If The Rock has eligibility left, they might make a run.
  7. Nevada– As Greg Gumbel would say, you gotta watch out for all the Wolfpacks out there.
  8. Creighton– Just assume they have a white senior with 2,000 career points.
  9. Kansas State– Starting to feel like I didn’t watch enough college basketball this year because I have literally no opinion on so many teams.
  10. Texas– If they make a run, is Texas Officially Back?
  11. Loyola-Chicago– My sources tell me they play stifling D, which is the first step towards a Cinderella run.
  12. Davidson– Wish college Steph was still around.
  13. Buffalo– Western New York needs something good to happen, just once.
  14. Wright State– Hey, uhh, more like Wrong State, amirite?
  15. Georgia State– Ludacris went to Georgia State.
  16. UMBC– I’m salty they beat UVM, but they also have a fellow Curran on the roster, so I think I’m on-board.

West Region

  1. Xavier– The least-confident one seed in recent memory, which means they’ll win the title.
  2. North Carolina– Kind of forgot they won last year.
  3. Michigan– B1G playing in NYC a week early is the worst thing to ever happen to college basketball.
  4. Gonzaga– The Official Brian’s Den 2018 Champion Pick.
  5. Ohio State– It’d be funny if they played Michigan in the Elite 8. Because they’re rivals, you see.
  6. Houston– Is Houston Street (the New York street, not the closer) being pronounced differently than the city of Houston the most needlessly New York thing of all time?
  7. Texas A&M– Ampersands need to make a comeback.
  8. Missouri– If Mike Porter, Jr. is really all that, Xavier’s getting screwed 2nd round.
  9. Florida State– Always underwhelming in the tournament.
  10. Providence– SMH, the FBI’s investigating the NCAA and aren’t indicting the headquarters of the- BRIAN’S LAWYER HAS ADVISED HIS CLIENT TO REFRAIN FROM MAKING ANY INFLAMMATORY REMARKS FOR HIS OWN SAFETY.
  11. San Diego State– Is San Diego State guilty of appropriating Aztec culture?
  12. South Dakota State– I, for one, am tired of the stranglehold the Dakotas have over American athletics.
  13. UNC-Greensboro– They’ve got a pretty cool logo.
  14. Montana– Have to imagine Montana is a fertile basketball recruiting ground.
  15. Lipscomb– Apparently Lipscomb is in Nashville? Who knew?
  16. NC Central/Texas Southern– Calling it right now- Texas Southern’s making the Final Four.

NBA All Star Saturday Predictions

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Nothing quite like NBA All-Star Weekend. I’m pretty sure I went into this last year, but it’s pretty much always been a huge part of my life, and Saturday Night is the crown jewel. Watching the random specials on TNT starting at like 5 pm bleeding into the actual show at 8 is a time honored tradition in the Brian’s Den. Unfortunately, my All-Star Weekend viewership is taking a bit of a hit this year. For the first time since like, 2005 I had to miss the Celebrity Game (without Tom Cavanagh there’s nothing to miss) and most of the Rising Stars. I’m seeing Black Panther tomorrow, which may turn into an all day affair if the crowds are still absurd. But I’ll always make time for All-Star Saturday. This is a challenging time in my life (nothing bad. Quite the opposite, in fact. I’ll get to it later) and I feel great having the Dunk Contest be my rock in the storm. Anyway, I’m never too busy to lend my prognosticating skills to All-Star Saturday, so let’s dive right in.

Taco Bell Skills Challenge

Field:

Joel Embiid, Buddy Hield, Al Horford, Lou Williams, Andre Drummond, Spencer Dinwiddie, Lauri Markkanen, Jamal Murray

Love me a good corporate sponsorship, especially one with a company as forward thinking as Taco Bell. I may just go out and get some Nacho Fries before the event kicks off. Taco Bell, Live Mas. As far as the actual event goes, got to go Horford, here. Why? Because I’m a Celtics fan, that’s why!

Pick: Al Horford

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JBL Three-Point Contest

Field:

Eric Gordon, Devin Booker, Klay Thompson, Bradley Beal, Paul George, Kyle Lowry, Wayne Ellington, Tobias Harris

I’m old enough to remember when this was the Foot Locker Three-Point Contest. Smh these millennials don’t know how good they have it. This feels like a weak field, even though it’s really not. Probably because Steph Curry isn’t here and Wayne Ellington and Tobias Harris are. Oh, well. Although I’m a big Dunk Contest stan, the three-point is more consistently entertaining. A bad three-point is infinitely better than a bad dunk contest. So, I’m sure this will wind up being pretty good, especially if Klay gets it going. Which he will.

Pick: Klay Thompson

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Verizon Slam Dunk

Field:

Victor Oladipo, Donovan Mitchell, Larry Nance, Jr., Dennis Smith, Jr.

I’m also old enough to remember when it was the Sprite Slam Dunk. R.I.P. old corporate sponsorships. Gone, but not forgotten. Apropos of nothing besides dreams of past Sprite Slam Dunks, the 2005 Dunk Contest might be the most underrated ever, both because of Josh Smith’s seemingly forgotten brilliance and the most “I wish Twitter was around for this” moment of my lifetime, Chris Andersen’s never-ending barrage of misses:

How about Magic declaring the Dunk Contest Back way back in 2005! Crazy that it’s been Back so many times since then. I’m actually pretty hyped for this year’s contest. Lot of freaky athletes here. I think any of the four could win (that’s what you call #analysis) but I’m going Dennis Smith, Jr. because I think he can jump the highest (more #analysis). Has there ever been a Dunk Contest with two juniors?

Pick: Dennis Smith, Jr.

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NBA Trade Deadline Wrapup

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Another trade deadline came and went in the NBA today, and, predictably, there was a flurry of moves. Most of which involve the Cavaliers, but we can get to that. After all, it’s not every day someone like Noah Vonleh gets traded for the rights to Milovan Rakovic. That kind of deal among the league’s power players can shake up the pecking order in the NBA for years to come. My various sources have confirmed that there were, in fact, other trades made, so might as well break down the big and small.

Cavs Trade For An Entirely New Roster

These Cavs moves made me sad. Not because they suddenly righted the ship or can now beat the Warriors or Rockets (they don’t), but because this might finally end the season-long drama. Just kidding. Kevin Love is still on the roster, after all. LeBron can’t help himself, and yelling at George Hill will be a lot easier than yelling at Isaiah Thomas (short rant on Isaiah: I hope he vows to never speak to LeBron again after this. I don’t know if you heard, but he was actually on the Celtics last year and was traded. He wasn’t happy, can you believe it? He made a big stink about literally everything this season and has been statistically the worst player in the NBA. I don’t know why he thought he was more influential than LeBron or why he’s telling the Lakers he won’t be coming off the bench, as if he’s been so much better than Alex Caruso or whoever the hell the Lakers have starting at point guard with Lonzo out, but I hope that hypocrite tells the media every step of the way how bad the Cavs did him, even though his own shitty play and shitty attitude is the reason the wanted him out of town in the first place. Whatever. Good luck with your Brink’s truck this offseason!). What do all of these moves do? Well, they inject some much needed athleticism for one. George Hill is essentially the anti-Isaiah: plays good D, hits open 3s, and is completely milquetoast. I assume they view Jordan Clarkson as an upgrade over Dwyane Wade, which, at this point in their careers, he is, but if LeBron was frustrated with Isaiah how will he not get frustrated at taller Isaiah? Dumping D-Rose and Jae Crowder are additions by subtraction, and Larry Nance and Rodney Hood will probably kill the Celtics in the playoffs. Despite the in-fighting and absolutely terrible play, I never fully committed to believing the Celtics would beat the Cavs, simply because I just assumed LeBron would figure out a way to get to the Finals again. Now I know the Cavs will beat the Celtics, because even getting marginally better than the shitshow they were last night was going to be enough as long as you have LeBron. So not only will they make the Finals now, they might even win a game! Can’t wait for the Wade “I’m Coming Home” video.

Pistons Trade Willie Reed to Chicago for Jameer Nelson

Jameer Nelson is eternal.

Magic Trade Elfrid Payton to Suns for 2nd Rounder

Elfrid Payton STINKS and has stupid hair. Boom, roasted.

Knicks Acquire Emmanuel Mudiay in 3-Team Trade

Remember when Mudiay was a top prospect? Feels like 100 years ago. Guy’s terrible, but the Knicks are gonna Knick. I assume D-Rose will get bought out and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Knicks tried to get him back (please, Wolves, don’t do it! I feel like J.R. telling Jeff Hardy not to jump off a 20-foot ladder onto a table. Think of your roster’s livelihood!). They just live for picking up bad players who are past their prime. Mudiay didn’t even have a prime, that’s how bad he’s been. Doug McDermott sent to Dallas where he can presumably learn how to be a good white NBA player from Dirk. Devin Harris is somehow still in the league and getting traded.

Pistons Trade Brice Johnson to Grizzlies for James Ennis

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Heat Trade Okaro White to Hawks for Luke Babbitt

Damn. This is the one that had the internet buzzing big time when it happened. Luke Babbit, multi-time All Star and future Hall of Famer, traded straight up for Okaro White. Crazy. Yet to be seen how the Heat will adjust to such a ball-dominant player, but trust Erik Spoelstra to figure it out. Don’t be surprised if this pushes the Heat into a top three seed in the East.

That’s pretty much it. Aside from the Cavs completely blowing it up, not a ton of trades, and certainly none involving the elite players. No Tyreke Evans trade, no DeAndre Jordan trade, Lou Williams re-signed. Warriors, Rockets, and Celtics stand pat. LeBron didn’t waive his no-trade clause. The Lakers cleared out cap space to sign LeBron Paul George next year. Gonna be an exciting end of the season, and you can be sure the Cleveland drama is far from over.

The Eagles Being Obsessed with LeBron vs. MJ Has Me More Confident in the Patriots than Ever

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source– The Philadelphia Eagles watch tape and look at statistics. They check for tendencies, scout the advanced numbers, see how things change when the fourth quarter comes around. And they do it all in order to prepare for … near-daily locker-room arguments about LeBron James and Michael Jordan.

“Heated. Heated, every single time,” said wide receiver Torrey Smith. “We come with stats. This is not just barbershop talk—I have looked up statistics plenty of times. The numbers favor my argument—he’s better in every single category except points per game. LeBron makes his teammates better, he plays on worse teams, and obviously he’s made it to a lot of Finals, even if he doesn’t win them all.”

When I visited the Eagles locker room during the regular season, I saw the arguments in action. I asked if the Eagles argued about hoops often, and I was told no—they just argue about Jordan vs. LeBron, nearly every day. As James continues to contend for MVPs and NBA titles well into his 30s, the debate has developed into an international hot topic. Prince Harry discussed it with Barack Obama—who is on Jordan’s side, though that may have something to do with his Chicago sports fandom. Pretty much every player in the NBA, past or present, has weighed in by now. NFL locker rooms are fairly boring places, but I have not seen a non-football argument as intense and involved as this one.

Alright, I keep saying it, but the buildup to this Super Bowl has been capital b Boring. I’m searching high and low for anything at all to talk about. I’m leaving no stone unturned and working my fingers to the bone trying to find an NFL storyline. Yeah, I could talk Alex Smith, but who cares? (On the surface it’s a fine, intermediary move for a solid QB, but signing him to 4 years $71 million guaranteed is a startlingly bad decision) All I want to do is discuss the greatness of the Patriots, but there’s just nothing new. I was about to just write “Why Tom Brady Should Win MVP, part 2.” But then this story came to my attention, and I might as well just start typing up the celebratory “Pats Win the Super Bowl Yet Again,” because there’s NO CHANCE the Patriots are going to lose to a team so concerned with debating MJ-LeBron.

Here’s where all the football purists and old school talking heads are nodding in agreement. “Yes, no one can win if you aren’t taking football 100% seriously 100% of the time. No distractions allowed.” That’s not what I’m saying. It’s good for players to have outside interests; conversations like this can build camaraderie and don’t affect practicing at all (although it’s not a coincidence you never hear about Pats’ players getting into these debates, hmmmmm). The real reason I’d be shaking in my boots if I was an Eagles’ fan is the fact that they’re still debating Mj vs. LeBron! That’s a 2016-17 argument. No one cares anymore, or, more specifically, no one cares in the months outside of May-July. The Patriots are at the forefront of the NFL. Every cutting edge scheme, every revolutionary strategy, the Pats not only have it mastered but they’ve mastered how to counteract it. And they’re playing a team who’s main concern is a debate from 8 months ago? Yikes. The Pats are all about the future and going forward. The Eagles are stuck in the past. Progress stops for no man, folks, and it would seem the Patriots are clearly going to be on the right side of history. I wonder when the Eagles will start asking how many holes a straw has. Next training camp? Maybe not until preseason. By then the Pats will have set their sights on number 7. It really just sums up the difference between the two franchises. What else can you expect out of a team from Philadelphia, though? Always five steps behind.