Countdown to 2019

2019

Can’t believe 2018 is over already. I feel like Velma, but instead of looking for her glasses I’m looking for all the years of my life that have passed by. That sounded kind of depressing, sorry. But that’s just how time works, man. Just keeps moving forward. If you even believe in time, at all. But this isn’t a Burning Questions, this is the Countdown of Countdowns. Third year we’ve done this, which is crazy to think about. I also realize I forgot to mention my two-year anniversary when it came and went December 26th. I apologize not only to you, my loyal readers, but to George Michael, the patron saint of the Brian’s Den whose death sparked the creation of this beloved site. It won’t happen again. But for the true fans, the Brian’s Den’s greatest hits always live on deep in their hearts, so was a clip show really necessary? I’ll let you decide. Anyhow, the Countdown. We’re saying goodbye to 2018 with eighteen, yes, eighteen countdowns. It could get ugly after about ten, but we’re powering through; I’ve decided to start working a little harder in 2019. Just part of the #newyearnewme lifestyle.

Top Five Movies from 2018 Based on Brian’s Den Scoring

  1. Mission: Impossible Fallout– One of the five best action movies ever made
  2. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse– Cried like four times
  3. The Commuter– This was like when Greg Maddux would throw an 80-pitch shutout late in his career just to show that he could still do it
  4. Skyscraper– Might be in the pantheon of random Rock action movies
  5. A Star is Born– Couldn’t leave out my boy B-Coop

Top Five Movies I Didn’t See But Will Say I Saw Come Awards Season to Sound Smarter

  1. The Favourite– Just waiting for the Americanized The Favorite to come out
  2. BlacKkKlansman– I watched the first three seasons of Ballers, does that count?
  3. Leave No Trace– Didn’t Viggo do this exact movie a year ago?
  4. If Beale Street Could Talk– Think I’m gonna feel bad about not seeing this one
  5. Bird Box– I will not let the memes win

Top Five Video Games I Played in 2018

  1. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild– Getting myself a Switch for my birthday was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made
  2. God of War– Remember when I tried streaming? That was fun
  3. Fire Emblem Awakening– Yes, I know it’s old. No, I don’t care. I played four Fire Emblem games in a row and it was one of the most legitimately fun eras of my life and may or may not have indirectly lead to my move to New York City
  4. Spider-Man– Big year for Spidey
  5. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate– Smash will always make the cut

Top Five Games I’m Looking Forward to in 2019

  1. Kingdom Hearts III– I’ll be fine if I die after I finish this
  2. Untitled Pokémon Switch Game– We all know this is going to be a banger
  3. Fire Emblem: Three Houses– See above section
  4. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice– I’m going to get this and I’m going to hate myself for committing to what is surely an absolutely impossible game
  5. Final Fantasy VII– Just kidding. This is never coming out

Top Five Songs of 2018

  1. “I Like It” by Cardi B, Bad Bunny, & J Balvin- It’s just a fire song
  2. “Finesse” by Bruno Mars & Cardi B- Cardi B only puts out heat and that’s an undeniable fact
  3. “New Light” by John Mayer- I like that the stigma against liking John Mayer is gone
  4. “Sicko Mode” by Travis Scott- I’ll always remember Travis Scott for his Ballers cameos the most. That might be the last Ballers reference this year
  5. “Party for One” by Carly Rae Jepsen- Leave your CRJ hate at the door, please

Top Five TV Shows I Watched in 2018

  1. Good Place– It’s good. Get it?
  2. All or Nothing: Manchester City– So, umm, yeah, I didn’t really watch any shows this year and I don’t really know why
  3. Westworld– There is no way Westworld season 2 should be number three on anyone’s list but here we are
  4. I don’t know, man. New Black Mirror came out that I haven’t watched yet so I’ll say that
  5. Spongebob seasons 1-3- RIP Stephen Hillenburg

Top Five Athletes of 2018

  1. Luka Doncic- I never overreact, I swear
  2. Mookie Betts- Red Sox won the World Series, in case you forgot
  3. Nick Foles- What a large penis this man has
  4. Aaron Donald- Feel like this is what it was like for my dad when he watched Bill Russell
  5. Every Olympian- Remeber the Olympics? They were this year! Crazy

Top Five New Year’s Eve Concerts

  1. Phish- MSG
  2. Bruno Mars- T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas
  3. Lady Gaga- Park Theater at Park MGM, Las Vegas
  4. Lynyrd Skynyrd- WinStar World Casino, Thackerville, Oklahoma
  5. Billy Joel- Nassau Coliseum, Long Island

Top Five New Fast Food Items

  1. Double Cheesy Gordita Crunch- Taco Bell
  2. Triple Melt Burrito- Taco Bell
  3. Nightmare King- Burger King
  4. Wild Naked Chicken Chalupa- Taco Bell
  5. Nacho Fries- Taco Bell

Top Five Best Things That Happened to Me in 2018

  1. Moved to New York City
  2. I just got this new deodorant (it’s men’s, FYI. It’s almost 2019) that has lavender in it and it smells very nice
  3. Any of the times I missed a subway train or bus by a matter of milliseconds
  4. My sister got me this notebook for Christmas that makes me feel like Aragorn since it looks straight out of Middle Earth
  5. Actually made some new friends. Rare!

Top Five Worst Smells

  1. Whatever’s been brewing in my fridge for the last month or two that I keep waiting for someone else to take care of but it never happens
  2. General garbage
  3. Someone else’s puke
  4. Rotting flesh
  5. Subway when you don’t want it

Top Five Acting Performances Ever by Men

  1. Samuel L. Jackson- Pulp Fiction
  2. Christoph Waltz- Inglorious Basterds
  3. Chappie- Chappie
  4. Daniel Day-Lewis- There Will Be Blood
  5. Nicolas Cage- The Wicker Man

Top Five Acting Performances Ever by Women

  1. Lady Gaga- A Star is Born
  2. Melissa McCarthy- The Heat
  3. Viola Davis- Fences
  4. Ellen Burstyn- The Wicker Man
  5. Jodie Foster- Silence of the Lambs

Top Five Book(s) Ever

  1. If I Did It: Confessions of a Killer by Pablo Fenjves and O.J. Simpson
  2. Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
  3. Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
  4. Song of Ice and Fire Series by George R.R. Martin
  5. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie

Top Five Vegetables

  1. Potato
  2. Carrot
  3. Red onion
  4. Non-infected lettuce
  5. Spinach

Top Five Places to Go Swimming

  1. Private pool- No rules whatsoever after a certain age=fun
  2. Health club pool- Usually the highest quality pool and water
  3. Lake- Beach is generally more fun, but lakes are far superior for swimming
  4. Public pool- Especially hotel pools where you can smell the chlorine three blocks away
  5. Beach- Swimming in the ocean is almost always a better idea in theory than in practice

Top Five Italian Renaissance Artists

  1. Michelangelo- The G.O.A.T. and I don’t know who’s really that close to him. Master of every medium. Only thing going against him is that every portrait of him looks like Willem Defoe if he got lost in the woods for a month and the only food he had was heroin
  2. Sandro Botticelli- Most underrated painter ever. Yeah, I said it
  3. Leonardo da Vinci- He’s honestly such an overrated artist but I don’t want to draw the ire of the people who put the emphasis on the “ai” in Renaissance
  4. Raphael- Raphael, of course, was known for his works’ clarity of form, ease of composition, and visual achievement of the Neoplatonic ideal of human grandeur
  5. Donatello- I swear I didn’t envision this happening but I have no choice now

Top Five Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2019

  1. More calm, peaceful discourse in all areas of the Internet
  2. A McDonald’s resurgence. It’s coming, and you don’t want to be on the wrong side of history
  3. The Patriots winning a sixth Super Bowl
  4. Getting a pet flamingo
  5. Spending more time in the Brian’s Den- 2019 is gonna be huge. Believe it
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How Many Terrible Movies is LeBron James About to Star In?

AP FILM REVIEW TRAINWRECK A ENT

BREAKING- I’ve got a bombshell report on my hands. I’ve been sitting on this for a few days, waiting for confirmation. I wasn’t about to publish what was, at the time, merely conjecture. But now that I’ve heard from a third source I’m comfortable putting this massive news into print: LeBron James is signing with the Lakers. Please credit briansden69.com.

Obviously this is the biggest story of the offseason. Any time the best player in the league joins the marquee franchise in the NBA it’s going to be the talk of the town. There will be plenty of debate over the basketball fit and if this is a finished roster or not, but I don’t care about all that. It’ll be LeBron and a bunch of sometimes good, sometimes bad role players. We’ve seen that before. I’m excited about two things: the first being that it will be fun to hate the Lakers again. As much inescapable pain it causes me, it’s just more enjoyable when the Lakers and Yankees are relevant (people like to include the Cowboys in this, too, but people forget the Cowboys haven’t done anything since 1995). Second, and probably more importantly, we’re about to enter into a Golden Age of terrible LeBron movies.

Ever since Space Jam, the athlete-movie cottage industry completely collapsed. While Shaq is mostly to blame, it’s really disappointing that the once-proud tradition of putting our finest athletes in the center of Hollywood movies. It’s like people decided to only make movies with “trained actors.” Can’t imagine why. My extensive research (whatever’s on the top of my head) says only Thunderstruck and Double Team have used active athletes as anything other than bit cameos or side roles since Space Jam‘s 1996 release. That’s not right. That’s why I’m glad LeBron abandoned Cleveland yet again. Because if I know LeBron, I know he won’t be able to resist those bring Hollywood lights for long.

So, what’s on the docket? After appearing in Trainwreck, surely a few more Judd Apatow joints are already in the works. You’d better believe Adam Sandler won’t miss the once in a lifetime opportunity to make a few Netflix movies with the King. I’m sure Uninterrupted will branch into longer pieces with LeBron at the center. Or maybe they’ll stick with episodic. After all, they made waves with the unprecedented idea of filming guys choppin’ it up in the barbershop. What will they think of next? Maybe a few videos of LeBron driving around his new turf commenting on his journey so far and saying how bad the traffic is on the 405. Or maybe take it inside Casa de James and capture Savannah cooking his favorite meals or something. I don’t know, just spitballing, here. It’s hard to come up with never-before-seen reality TV ideas. One of his kids is still young enough to be strictly in the Kids Movie demo, so he’ll make at least two or three late-career-Eddie-Murphy type movies. And Space Jam 2, of course. No idea how old he is, but have to imagine we’ll have a multi-part series on LeBron, Jr.’s college recruitment. And maybe Bryce catches the movie bug and becomes a filmmaker. Guess old dad will have to be the star of that, too. There’s gotta be an After Earth spinoff with LeBron and his kids, too. The possibilities are endless.

I just can’t wait for all the L.A. related storylines that are gonna come out of this. Who’s LeBron doing lunch with today? Where’s his next meeting? What happens when the only night Nobu has an opening is a big game against the Warriors? What if his family wants to spend the weekend in Santa Monica during the stretch run? I love this. I’m sure the “KD ruined the NBA” crowd has a bunch of poop in their its diaper, but shame on you if you aren’t excited for some of the absolutely ridiculous and melodramatic stories that are going to come of out of LeBron to L.A. Let’s just start the season today.

Happy One Year Anniversary to Me

all-the-joys-of-love

Wow. As of today, it’s officially been a full year since I started The Brian’s Den. I know, I know. Congratulations to me and all that. Hard to believe it’s been 365 days since, a day after George Michael’s death, I decided to start this website. There’s been a lot of ups and a couple downs, but hopefully it was never boring. The world takeover hasn’t quite happened yet, but I still appreciate everyone who comes here to waste a few minutes every day. You’re all part of the the most exclusive club in the world, so don’t be afraid to puff out your chest a little bit and act like you’re better than everyone. You read the most educational website in the world, after all.

Now, were I a true professional, I’d have something special planned for my one year anniversary. Unfortunately, I’m not, so I don’t. So instead of forcing some content to materialize that undoubtedly won’t be good, I figured I’d just run back some posts that I know are good. That’s right, it’s the Official Brian’s Den clip show!

The Videos

Coors Field Concession Review

Denver Airport Conspiracy

Hot Dog Eating Contest

Episode 1 of my short lived cooking show (RIP)

How I Saved New York City

Can’t go too long without mentioning my (sort of) signature series, Burning Questions

Burning Questions Hub

The Food Takes

Which Fast Food Place Has the Worst Dressed Customers?

Fast Food Sauces Stink

Halloween Candy Power Ranking

Crab > Lobster

Why I Hate Lunch

The Grocery Store Rules

Best Pizza Chain

The Best #sports Talk

What’s up with JJ Redick’s tattoos?

The NBA’s Hidden Crime Syndicate

This is probably problematic but I still think it’s funny

Is Aaron Judge a True Yankee?

Pats Won the Super Bowl if you hadn’t heard

Entertainment News

Best Action Movie Characters

Stop Calling Die Hard a Christmas Movie

The Greatest Video Ever Made

Is The Weeknd a Virgin?

The Next Oscar Winner

The comprehensive list of Yu-Gi-Oh! takes

The Special Occasions

Countdown to 2017

Valentine’s Day

Eclipse 2017

Thanksgiving

Christmas (including Hawaiian Christmas)

So, what’s your favorite post? Did it show up here? Or do I have so many good ones that I overlooked some? What was my worst one (trick question, of course)? Let me know what you liked and would like to see more of. It was a good year one, and hopefully year two will be a big one.

Disney Officially Buys 21st Century Fox

the-simpsons

source– The Walt Disney Company said on Thursday that it had reached a deal to buy most of the assets of 21st Century Fox, the conglomerate controlled by Rupert Murdoch, in an all-stock transaction valued at roughly $52.4 billion.

While the agreement is subject to the approval of antitrust regulators — and the Justice Department recently moved to block a big media company from becoming even bigger — the once unthinkable acquisition promises to reshape Hollywood and Silicon Valley. It is the biggest counterattack from a traditional media company against the tech giants that have aggressively moved into the entertainment business.

Disney now has enough muscle to become a true competitor to Netflix, Apple, Amazon, Google and Facebook in the fast-growing realm of online video.

Big time news entertainment news today: Disney (don’t know if you’ve ever heard of them) reached an agreement to buy 21st Century Fox for the low, low price of $52.4 billion. Love finding a good bargain during the holiday season. But now that the Mouse has bought out one of its ostensible rivals in the big budget/comic book movie game, that can only mean one thing: we might finally get that Big Momma’s House/Howard the Duck crossover we’ve been waiting for.

The most immediate impact will most likely be the inclusion of the X-Men and Fantastic Four into the Marvel Universe, meaning they’ll have to re-establish a new X-Men continuity for the millionth time and reboot Fantastic Four for the third time. Good stuff. Disney also gets Fox’s share of streaming service Hulu, which they now essentially have full control of. Presumably, Hulu will now just become Disney’s personal streaming service, exorbitant monthly fee and all. Banner day for the free market in general. Disney, Amazon, and Netflix now have almost a complete monopoly on both the production and distribution of every movie that’s going to be made for at least 20 years. And you thought the Yankees were violating antitrust laws.

Personally, I’m fine with it. People will always complain when stuff like this happens- fair trade and all that. But I’m lazy. I like doing as little work as possible. And if all the Disney and Fox content is in one place, I’m happy. I’ll be fine when either Amazon or Disney buys out the other, because then literally every movie and show ever will be made by the same people. I’m all for monopolies. Fewer options are almost always better. Takes the stressful decision making process out of life. I’ll gladly be spoon-fed my nutrients and entertainment by the government if it means I never have to endlessly scroll through menus ever again.

This move also means that the only remaining independent entity in the entertainment industry is now http://www.briansden69.com. Honestly, it’s a lot of pressure. I have to speak not only for myself, but for all the mavericks out there who want to stand up to Big Mouse and its various constituents. I imagine I’ll some new viewers as the underground resistance grows. And to all the brave souls looking for a new, non-affiliated place to get their blazing hot takes, I promise you one thing: I vow to sell out the first chance I get. You can hold me to that. I will never put a sense of pride and a desire to accomplish something on my own get in the way of cold, hard cash. So, Disney, if you’re reading this, call me. I’m open for business.